I Hope You Dance
by HummelGleek
Summary: Kurt Hummel was eight years old when he started getting sexually abused by his dance instrutor. He wont tell. He cant tell. Soon he finds himself battling bulimia and self mutilation. Will someone save him before its to late?  Will have Klaine soon
1. Chapter 1

**I Hope You Dance**

**Warnings:** Child Sexual abuse, mentions of eating disorders. The rating will change…for the worse

**Disclaimer: **don't own Glee

* * *

><p><em>You're so beautiful…<em>

Large, foreign hands grope at his body

_Shh you'll like it I promise…  
><em>  
>Sweaty, lustful lips kiss at his neck and mouth.<p>

_Stop crying it'll be okay…_

His small eight year old body tries to push the older man off without  
>success.<p>

Kurt shakes his head and lets out a small noise of protest, "No".

The man's kisses move down his chest and stomach. Kurt lets the tears flow freely and wants to scream for his dad. "Where's my daddy?" Kurt cries and the man stops momentarily to look up and smirk, "Your daddy is out right now…so shut up or you'll never see him again". Kurt bit his bottom lip; he couldn't lose his father to.

The man fumbled with his suspenders and pants.

_Damn you're so fucking gorgeous…_

Kurt closed his eyes; He wished his mother was here...

His eyes flew open and a gasp escaped his throat as his pants where slowly pulled down.

"No!" he tries to twist and get away. The man reaches out and grabs his wrists holding him in place moving up so he's straddling the young boy.

"You want to see your daddy right?" he asks as Kurt sobs. "Huh?" he asks forcefully. Kurt bites his lower lip and nods. "Okay so shut the fuck up and stop moving or you'll never see your daddy again got it?"  
>He said as Kurt's tiny wrists start to throb in pain.<p>

Kurt nods slowly and looks the other way as the man moves back to his position.

He used his left hand to slide down into Kurt's briefs. Kurt let out a whimper and the man shushed him. "Look at me" he said and Kurt saw nothing but evil in this sick mans eyes. "Now I want you to watch me the whole time baby then we can learn how to have some fun" he chuckled and proceeded.

Kurt wanted so badly to look away...run out to his mother's arms so he could forget this.

When the man finished he put Kurt's clothes back on with a fake gentleness. "Now if you tell your daddy he'll hate you and leave you alone to die..." the man warned and Kurt felt a cold fear creep through him.

"I won't tell" Kurt said to the man and he smiled.

"Good".

XxXxXx

"Kurt" Burt said as he walked into the dancing building. He vowed since Elizabeth died he'd nurture and make Kurt happy for the rest of his living days. He would have never expected he'd be picking his son up from dance.

Burt looked at his son who was all done up in a cute little outfit his mother would have loved. Complete with a bow tie and suspenders. Kurt walked toward him his eyes on the ground and his steps where quick and scared like.

Burt didn't really take notice to the tensing of his muscles as he touched Kurt's back. "Hey bud what's going on?" Burt asked guiding Kurt to the car. "Nothing" he replied and Burt looked at him.

Usually Kurt would yap away now he was silent and withdrawn. "You feelin okay honey?" he asked feeling Kurt's forehead but he jerked away. "I'm okay" the eight year old mumbled. And they drove in silence, the images kept going through Kurt's head. "So um how'd your dance thingy go?" Burt asked sipping on a speedway coffee and handing his son a juice box.

"Good" Kurt mumbled and nodded. "Any reason he kept you later than the others?" Burt pried. Kurt panicked, "Um he said that I was really good…and that I should be the boy lead for the next show" Kurt said, it wasn't really a lie. The coach had told him that after he had…

_Don't think about it!_

But Kurt was excited none the less to actually have lead.

"Well that's exciting" Burt smiled not really knowing what a male lead would be doing as long as it didn't involve in son in a tutu or makeup.

Kurt nodded.

XxXxXx

"Is your homework done?" Burt asked Kurt as they both cleaned up from dinner, "It always is dad" he said with a small smile. Burt shook his head; this kid was way over his years.

"Okay go get your jammies on and I'll be in there to say goodnight" Burt said and Kurt wiped his hands walking to his room.

He pulled out his night clothes which consisted of a large shirt and pajama bottoms. He carefully removed his clothes and folded them then out them in the hamper. Burt always hated that when he did that but Kurt hated wrinkles even more.

Kurt looked at the small bruises that where forming near his hips and the red spots near his waist to. If he could just block it out…

"Kurt do you need help in there?" Burt yelled to him. Kurt panicked; "No!" he nearly screamed and put his night stuff on quickly. He walked out very slowly and with his eyes down.

Burt smiled and pulled him into a hug. Kurt stiffened and did his best to hug back. "Oh goodnight kiddo" Burt said and kissed his forehead. Kurt smiled and climbed on his bed.

He tucked Kurt in and walked out turning the light out. Kurt wished he would have kept it on.

He lay there, closing his eyes and trying to sleep. Finally sleep came and it was good for a couple hours, till he woke up crying and sweating. He opened his eyes to find himself in his dark room with his mothers blanket wrapped around him. It was suddenly too much, sweat dripped down his face. He pushed the covers off and gasped.

No! Kurt Hummel does not do that. He was eight; eight year olds don't wet the bed. He got up and pushed the thankfully dry blankets off. He grabbed his soiled sheet and balled it up setting it near the door.

Then he went in his bathroom and cleaned up changing. The smell of urine was strong and it gave Kurt a headache.

Kurt quietly crept to the laundry room, with the sheet.

He threw it in the washer with other clothes that where yet to be washed. He thanked god his father was a heavy sleeper as he turned the washer on and walked back to his room. Quietly he closed the door and turned the light on.

When he was finished scrubbing and disinfecting his bed it was 4am. He was exhausted when he finally had the sheet nice and clean with a clean tide smell on his bed and crawled in.

The only thing was what if he went to bed and peed again? He felt tears fall down his face, for some reason.

He wished his mom was here she would know what to do.

So he sat up and laid his head against the backboard and stared at the wall.

XxXxXx

"Kurt?" Burt asked walking in his room and not seeing him in his bed. The room looked empty. He panicked, "Kurt buddy where are you?" he asked looking around until he opened the closet door and saw his son huddled up in the corner sucking his thumb.

He shook Kurt whose eyes opened immediately, "Huh?" he asked looking up at his father. Burt laughed a little and picked his son up.

"What're you doing in there?" he asked placing Kurt on his hip. Kurt laid his head on Burt's shoulder and shrugged.

"C'mon lets go get breakfast" he said and Kurt squirmed a little.

Burt sat him at the table and went to pour himself coffee. Kurt got back up and grabbed an apple and some chocolate milk. "That's all you want?" Burt asked him as he ate at the apple.

"Yeah, coach" thank god he didn't see the shudder, "said we need to watch our weight"

Burt gave him a look, "You're eight for craps sake you don't have any weight to watch". Kurt continued to eat his apple and shrugged. "I didn't say it".

XxXxXx

Kurt grabbed his bag as they headed to dance. Oh god was he scared, he felt like crying.

He couldn't pay attention in school at all either, which caused the teacher to talk to him out the hall.

They arrived at the dance building; Burt got out and helped Kurt out. "Have fun okay" Burt said giving him a hug and watching him walk in with his dance bag.

The building was once a sanctuary, he could dance and sing. Forget that his mother was gone and never coming back.

Kurt went and changed into his unitard and walked back out sitting where the others were. Him, Josh and Keith where the only males in the others were girls, but it didn't really bother any of them.

The coach walked out and smiled. Kurt tensed and stared at the floor

The coach was a slender man yet strong. He had dark brown hair and brown eyes. The way he smiled, was so sinister to Kurt. Yet to the other ignorant kids it was just another man, who smiled and taught them to dance.

Class went on and Kurt practiced for his lead, he felt alive when he danced. Forgetting everything he had to deal with in his little eight year old life.

After class he changed and hoped to hurry out of there before-

"Hello Kurt" coach said grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. Kurt managed a weak smile,

"H-hi" he muttered and looked down. "I need to have a little chat with you" he said and Kurt's heart quickened. They walked their way to his office and sat he sat down. The coach pulled up a chair in front of him and sat.

"You like having the lead yes?" he asked and Kurt nodded, "Well I need you to do me a favor…Kurt I'm not going to lie to you, I like you, you're a great kid but to be in the dancing, and singing business you need to be…" he looked to the ceiling for a moment. "In control".

Kurt wanted to scream at him, what in the hell could he control he was freaking eight!

He set a hand on his upper leg. "And you need to relax, I can help you with that, you just can't tell anybody else or…they'll make you stop dancing and singing, even take you away forever" he said and Kurt's eyes grew wide.

"So you won't tell will you?" he asked and Kurt bit his lip and shook his head no.

"Good…" he said getting up, "Let me help you relax right now".

XxXxXx

_Control…_

Kurt looked at himself in the mirror; coach had told him ways he could _control._

Kurt tried to shake the memories of him, and what had now happened twice. The second time was the worse, because he knew what would happen.

Kurt finally decided on a way to _control _things.

The first time Kurt Hummel purged himself he was eight years old.

* * *

><p><strong>this is a old fanfic I wrote but i will be continuing it! There will be more and you'll see Kurt have to grow up with this. :) why must i torture him so? Review and watch for more <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: **My get a little Graphic for some people who dont like reading about child sexual abuse or may be triggering near the end.

Songs: Jet song-West Side Story, The Last Night-Skillet

* * *

><p>Kurt shuddered, pulling his finger out fast so the puke wouldn't get on his hand. The gagging noise he made scared him a little. He watched the salad he had ate today come back up in ugly, green lumps.<p>

His knees ached from leaning towards the toilet, he stood up gargled water. Dabbing his red eyes, he cleared his throat and put up his 'I'm okay' mask.

Kurt, who was thirteen now, stepped on the scale and watched the numbers. **74pounds.**

He sighed and back off feeling tears fall down his face. He didn't know why but every little thing made him cry.

He walked out and found his father shuffling through the mail, "Hey kiddo" he said not looking up from the mail. "h-hey" he replied clearing his throat.

"Ready to go to your dance thingy?" he asked and Kurt glared at him. "It's a show dad" Kurt snapped knowing he was acting a little more aggressive then he should have. Burt didn't notice

_It's not like he's noticed anything before…_

Kurt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as they walked to the car.

"So what um show are you doing?" he asked starting the car, "We're doing The Westside Story" Kurt told him and looked out the window. He wanted to be Maria but no a girl had to.

He had decided to play Riff, who was the Jets leader. Because no matter how bad a wanted to be lead he would not kiss that Rachel girl

Or any girl for that matter

It's not like he really wanted to be center of attention any more. Actually he kind of wished people would forget about him. But the bullies never seemed to forget about harassing him.

"So your teacher talked to me today" Burt started and Kurt groaned and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples.

"Kurt your grades are dropping you use to be so good, why wouldn't you give that speech?" He asked pulling into the full parking lot.

"Because I didn't _want _to" Kurt grumbled and got out, Burt nearly running to keep up with him.

They entered the building which was stuffed full of family and friends of the cast.

Kurt looked around, his anxiety a little high now that he knew **He** was here. "Hello Mr. Hummel" his voice sent cold shivers down his spine and made tears spring in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away and spun around seeing **Him** shake hands with his father.

"Your son is very musically gifted Burt," he said slinging a arm around Kurt's shoulder.

Burt beamed, "He gets it from his mother".

Kurt kept his eyes lowered and his body stiff. "I see a great future of the arts in his life" he continued and Kurt just wanted to slink away. "I-I have to go change" Kurt mumbled and he smiled. "Of course" he said and let Kurt walk off.

The coach nodded towards Burt and walked off towards Kurt. Burt went into a conversation with some lady.

Kurt felt his stomach churn and he kneeled over the toilet. He groaned and shoved his finger down his throat.

Blood came up he stood fast his eyes wide.

He walked out and stopped at the sink. His face is pale and he's shaking, suddenly **He** walked behind him and grabed his shoulders. Kurt looked up in cold fear, the mirror showing **His** reflection.

"You're so beautiful tonight" he whispered bringing his mouth to Kurt's ear. Kurt bit his lip and closed his eyes as he ran his hands down Kurt's arm leaving goose bumps.

His breath is hot and minty near his face as he kisses his neck; he lets his hand travel down Kurt's arm till it was on hip, toying at the hem of his jeans.

"I-I…" Kurt started but He hushed him by turning him over and placing his lips on Kurt's. Kissing him fervently, biting at his lips till they where red. He held the back of Kurt's head with one hand and let his other hand unclip his button and unzip his pants.

Kurt tried to pull back but he held him in place, "C'mon you need to loosen up you're too tense" he muttered his breathing was heavy.

Kurt felt tears fall down his cheeks and closed his eyes,

He imagined he wasn't here but in his mothers loving arms, as the man's hand slid into his pants.

"_Mom…we'll be together forever right?" Kurt asked his mother as her hair blew in the gentle breeze. The smell of honey suckles and other flowers hung in the air. She looked over at Burt who gave her a small sad smile. "Kurt I will always be with you even when I'm not here" she said and kissed the boys cheek. _

_Kurt looked at her crystal blue eyes and frowned, "What does that mean mommy?" he asked as she fixed his little bow tie. "Whenever you feel alone or scared just remember mommy's always there" she said and poked his little chest. "In your heart"_

Kurt needed much more than just someone in his heart right now. The man had him pinned against the wall now, kissing him hard and groping at him. Kurt tried to smack his hand away as it started to hurt but he thrusted against him.

Suddenly the man backhanded him, "What did I tell you?" he hissed pulling back. Kurt looked down and the man grabbed his chin making him look him in the eyes. "Huh?' he asked with a cocky little grin.

Kurt couldn't find his voice, "S-sorry" he managed and he dropped his hold. "Well the show must be starting soon" he kept his gaze on Kurt.

"Just wait till we're alone again honey" he said with a smile and walked off. As soon as the door closed again Kurt burst into tears.

He quickly composed himself and walked out because there was one thing that bastard would not take from him.

His spotlight

XxXxXx

Kurt looked out in the crowd and saw his father he smiled and nodded towards him as the music started. His father was probably glad he was playing such a manly part but for him it sucked. Maria would be so much better!

Kurt began singing, a song that was so not for his voice.

_When you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way  
>From your first cigarette<br>To your last dying day  
>When you're a Jet if the spit hits the fan<br>You've got brothers around  
>You're a family man<br>You're never alone_

_You're never disconnected  
>You're home with your own<br>When company's expected  
>You're well-protected<br>Then you are set with a Capital J  
>Which you'll never forget 'till they cart you away<br>When you're a Jet you stay a Jet_

Kurt was sure there were people in the crowd laughing at his girly voice, wondering why he was singing this but he didn't care because the stage made him feel amazing.

It was almost a natural high for him.

XxXxXx

"You were so good Kurt" Burt said smiling and patting his back as Kurt clung to his hand and side. He couldn't be alone,

"Thanks dad" he said resting his head on his father's side. Burt looked at him oddly,

_Why is he always so clingy?_ Burt wondered.

"Do you wanna run in your teacher's office to say goodbye?" he asked and Kurt nearly screamed, "No".

"Oh um okay you don't have to" he said and looked down at Kurt who was crying. "Kurt buddy what's wrong?" he asked.

_Gosh he's crying a lot…Jesus I wish Elizabeth was still here. _Burt thought.

"I-I just don't want him to think I was terrible up on stage I was flat and my voice wasn't cut for that role, you know I wanted to play Maria but I wasn't allowed to play a girl!" Kurt said and Burt stared at him worriedly. "Kurt you don't have to if you don't want to" he said and let Kurt cling to him as they walked out. The night was warm and the stars where shining.

When they arrived home Kurt went straight to his room, did his moisturizing routine, changed and lay down. He was exhausted, but his mind just wouldn't let him sleep.

Tomorrow he'll be alone with **Him**.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and said a little prayer to his mother.

XxXxXx

The scream woke Burt up from a dead sleep; he _ran_ to Kurt's room and opened the door. Burt grabbed and shook Kurt, his eyes flew open. Sweat was pouring down his face and he was shaking like a leaf. Another unmistakable thing Burt noticed was the smell of urine.

"Kurt…did you wet the bed?" Burt asked and his cheeks flushed. He had kept it a secret for so long.

Tears started down his face, "I'm sorry dad I really, really am" Kurt cried not looking at his father's face. "Kurt's its fine…you didn't do it on purpose" he said and grabbed his hand. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine now go back to bed I can clean this" Kurt said and he looked at him closer. "Kurt…" he said and touched Kurt's neck furrowing his eyebrows when Kurt flinched. "Is that…a hickey?" he asked keeping his hand on a red bruise.

"Um I don't even know what that means dad…but the mosquitoes are bad out" he said and got up. "Go back to bed dad you have to work" Kurt said and began cleaning up.

XxXxXx

Kurt stayed up the rest of the night, fretting over the fact his father knew he wet the bed like some three year old.

Walking down stairs he prepared Burt's coffee and set it at the table then grabbing him a water bottle and getting on the tread mill. He put in his headphones and allowed himself to forget.

As he's running and shuffling through songs he stops at one he doesn't remember downloading.

_You come to me with scars on your wrist  
>You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this<br>I just came to say goodbye  
>I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine<br>But I know it's a lie._

_This is the last night you'll spend alone_  
><em>Look me in the eyes so I know you know<em>  
><em>I'm everywhere you want me to be.<em>  
><em>The last night you'll spend alone,<em>  
><em>I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,<em>  
><em>I'm everything you need me to be.<em>

_Your parents say everything is your fault_  
><em>But they don't know you like I know you they don't know you at all<em>  
><em>I'm so sick of when they say<em>  
><em>It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine<em>  
><em>But I know it's a lie.<em>

Kurt closed his eyes trying to force back tears, tried to push those nasty memories away. The way **He** would run his hands through his hair, call him beautiful and gorgeous. The things he made him do…how long would this go on?

_The night is so long when everything's wrong_  
><em>If you give me your hand I will help you hold on<em>  
><em>Tonight,<em>  
><em>Tonight.<em>

_I won't let you say goodbye,_  
><em>I'll be your reason why.<em>

"Kurt?" he jumped and nearly tripped but his father turned the tread mill off before they had a bad accident. "What are you doing up so early?" he asked with a smile.

Kurt shrugged, "I'm ready for school" he said his eyes downcast.

"Well kiddo we don't have to leave for another thirty minutes…you sure you're okay?" he asked and Kurt nodded. "I'm fine"

XxXxXx

The teacher walked over to Kurt with worried eyes, after everyone had left for lunch Kurt sat with his head on the desk.

"Kurt are you okay?" she asked shaking him a little. Kurt raised his head, forced a smile. "I'm amazing, just tired you know the play and stuff" he said mendaciously.

"Okay…" she said and walked away.

Kurt slunk back down, "No actually I'm not okay" he whispered but no one replied.

When Kurt walked to his dance practice, he used slow sluggish steps.

he sighed and walked in the building. Rachel came running up to him, "Guess what guess what!" she hissed pulling at his shirt.

"Girl dont make me cut you" Kurt replied smoothing his sleeve down. "We're doing Wicked!" she said and Kurt's eyes brightened.

He ran to the sign up sheet, but **He**stopped him, "You have the lead Kurt" he said with a strange glint in his eyes. Kurts eye went wide, "I-I have lead?" he gasped out and he nodded. A smile broke across Kurts face, Finally this man had come to his senses about him being a star.

Class went on as they practiced for Wicked. Kurt belted out the lyrics to For Good and danced his little heart out.

Smirking at Rachel when she cried that a boy couldn't take the Wicked lead.

The end came to fast and Kurt changed walking out. Oh he couldn't wait to tell his dad!

He would have to practice Defying Gravity and-

"Kurt" his voice made Kurt spin around in fear. No he had gotten off free today. Today was suppose to be good. "My office" he nodded towards it and Kurts feet wouldn't budge. He grabbed his hand and walked him towards it. Why did Kurt feel like a baby now? He was thirteen he could walk.

The man pushed him against the wall and forced his mouth on Kurts.

His lips trailed down Kurts neck biting and sucking. "w-what?" Kurt managed out feeling the mans erected cock against his body.

"I gave you the lead you owe me kid" he said and Kurt gasped and shuddered as he ran his tongue along a sensitve spot on his neck.

_That's why he gave him the lead..._

Kurt felt sick and faint. As the man started fumbling with his own jeans. "W-what's going on?" Kurt panicked. "I'm gonna teach you something new kid now get on your knees" he demanded. Kurts eyes went wide.

"NOW!" he said and pushed his head down. He was crying, begging. He couldn't do this. Why would he do this!

He shoved his cock in Kurts mouth making him gag at first and try to squirm away. He held him in place and instructed him.

_That's it..._

_Jesus Christ..._

The man was mumbling Kurt closed his eyes tears spilling down his face.

It seemed like a million years till the man orgasmed. He didn't even let him spit it out either.

Kurt stood his head dizzy and bile rising in his throat.

The man shoved him against the wall, "you won't tell will you?" he asked and Kurt shook his head. "I won't tell" he muttered and walked out dazed and confused. He  
>walked home in the rain, not waiting for his father.<p>

When he reached his house he ran to the bathroom and as soon as his knees hit the floor his finger was down his throat ridding himself of that mans bodily fluids.

He puked till he was doing nothing but dry heaving.

That night his father lectured him about walking alone. But he went to bed before dinner. Sitting on his floor in the dark.

He looked around for something he control, because his stomach was empty and numb.

So the first time Kurt Hummel cut himself he was thirteen.

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><p><strong>Damn. Well tell me what you think! Klaine will be happening in the next chapters. May get more graphic who knows with me :P Review?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

"Offly hot outside to be wearing that eh?" the doctor said in an annoying Canadian accent. Kurt shrugged and let his father talk. He kept his voice low so Kurt

wouldn't hear.

"Okay I guess I should have brought him sooner...it all really started after he was like nine or so, but now he seems totally withdrawn and he won't eat!" Burt exclaimed babbling worriedly. "He even still wets the bed sometimes"

"Hm...strange" the doctor nodded and looked back up at Kurt. Well I guess we better take your vitals" he said and gestured to Kurt to hop up on the scale.

Kurt did with a angry frown. Why did he have to be here?

"and how old are you?" he asked scribbling on a notebook. "sixteen" Kurt muttered and they all watched the numbers.

**95pounds**

"my...oh my you're very small" he said and wrote some more. Kurt shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets and looked down.

"I dance a lot" he mumbled.

"let's have a listen to your heart" he said and did the normal ritual.

"Kurt have you experienced any traumatic things or are you self-mutilating? Cutting, burning or pricking"? He asked writing some more.

Kurt shook his head, "why would I?" he lied rolling his eyes.

"no binging and purging or acute food refusal?" he asked and Kurt shook his head again. "Ok well we took blood samples and they will be looked at other than

that...I want to see him back soon" the doctor said and pulled Burt aside.

"watch after him a lot...something is obviously off".

Burt felt angry aren't they suppose to know about this stuff?

They headed out, Kurt wrapped his arms around his stomach like it hurt.

"So um if there's anything you want to tell me...feel free" Burt said

starting the car.

"nothing you shouldn't already notice" Kurt said in a angry tone.

Why won't he figure out?

XxXxXx

When they arrived home Finn held his hand out, Kurt looked at it. "what do you want me to do?" he grumbled. "high five dude" he smiled

stupidly.

Kurt shook his head and moved on.

He walked to his room, his anxiety high. He went to his bathroom and pulled out his secret stash of cigarettes. No he didn't smoke...okay maybe a little but it curbs appetite.

He light it and took a few drags, then took his his jacket. He turned his arm over revealing his mutilated wrist. Jagged cuts all over. Each

one telling a story of his worst days.

Taking one last drag he placed the cigarette on his wrist. Twisting it like he was putting it out. He had to bit his lip to keep from

screaming out.

He exhaled fast when he dropped the remaining rest of the cigarette in the garbage. The burn was round and red, bubbling up. He walked out of his bathroom and sighed laying down. He needed to practice, Mr. Shuester expected them to sing tomorrow. Then he had

dance classes.

He shuddered at the thought of being in the same room with Him.

He wished he could just curl up and stay asleep forever. Just dream about him and his mother.

"dinner Kurt" Finn said walking in. "ok..." Kurt whispered more to himself. "Kay..." he stood there. Kurt looked up, "can I help you?" he asked and Finn looked around nervously. "um Burt wanted me to make sure you came down" he replied. Kurt sighed and followed him down. At the dinner table a bowl of salad was thrust at him.

"just try" Burt said with a hopeful voice.

Kurt groaned. He didn't want to have to puke. Why wouldn't his father leave him alone?

"do I have to?" he asked and Burt nodded. They sat there until Kurt busted into tears. Everyone stared. Shocked.

"why do you hate me?" he sobbed and got up. He walked out angrily but

not before slamming his fist into the wall.

Burt sat there speechless, he looked over at Carole an she gave a him wide eyed look. "what's his problem?" Finn asked when they heard his door slam.

"maybe it's just a hormonal thing" Carole suggested to Burt. "no...he's had strange outbursts like that since he was little. I think it's because of his mom" he said and shrugged.

"I don't know" He muttered shaking his head.

XxXxXx

Kurt woke up before everyone else, when he passed Finns door he looked in. He was sprawled out, snoring yet looking completely content. Kurt

wished he could sleep like that.

He wished he could be normal like Finn. A star have everyone at his feet. Not as stupid...but other than that Finn has a great life.

Kurt shook his head and walked to the kitchen. "hey" he heard and jumped with a yelp. His father walked in. "couldn't you warn me?" Kurt

growled and started cleaning up the water he spilled.

"sorry I have to go to the shop early...and I thought we could spend time together" Burt shrugged and grabbed some coffee. "joy" Kurt

mumbled sitting down.

"so what's new? Anything going on?" Burt asked taking a seat just as

Carole walked out.

Kurt eyed him suspiciously. "no" he replied.

"Hm" he nodded.

"you know you can tell me anything right?" Burt said and Kurt nodded

mutely.

Burt got up just as Kurt did and tried to pull him into a hug. Kurt jerked back and walked out. Burt looked at Carole with a hurt expression.

XxXxXx

"Earth to white boy" Mercedes said walking in the class room. Kurt opened his eyes and lifted his head from his hand. "huh?" he said.

"how long've you been here?" she asked taking a seat next to him.

"too long" he groaned as the teacher started drowning on. He found it hard to keep his eyes open.

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Tapped his foot and fiddled with his pencil.

He rested his hand on his cheek and slowly let his eyes close...

_Kurt was in a room. It was small and suffocating. He stood confused. Where was he? He tried to move forward but something clanked. He looked down, he was chained. "what?" he thought. He opened his mouth wanting to scream. But nothing came out. It was dark, a thick scary darkness._

But there was a familiar smell of axe cologne that He always wore.

_Suddenly someone came up behind him grabbing his shoulders. His face next to his ear. His hot breath blowing on his ear._

_You're so beautiful_..._he growled._

_Kurt wanted to twist away, run to his father but no he couldn't he was paralyzed._

_Nobody has to know..._

Kurt let a scream rip through his throat, his eyes flying open to the bright classroom.

Except all eyes were on him, Mercedes was staring at him worriedly. Sweat dripped down his face and his body shook.

"um..." he mumbled and the teacher walked over. "are you okay?" he asked touched Kurts arm. "don't touch me. Don't touch me" Kurt said gathering his books. "I-I didn't mean to" he said and watched Kurt leave.

He didn't even know where he was going until he found himself outside in the warm sun.

The breeze no where to be found. Kurt walked to his car throwing his stuff in the seat in the back. fumbling with the key then dropping them. Kurt groaned and let tears fall down. He sobbed setting his forehead on the steering wheel. His shoulders shook and his stomach churned.

He was such a freak.

Suddenly there was a knock on the window. He gasped, wiped his eyes and rolled down the window.

"can I help you?" damn the quiver in his voice.

"my name is Blaine" he said and held his hand out, Kurt stared at it.

"okay um...this is gonna sound weird but can I get a ride?" he asked and Kurt furrowed his eyebrows

"s-sure?" Kurt said and Blaine smiled. This boy was definitely strange yet oddly compelling. With his tangerine-hazel eyes and slick curly hair.

He settled in the seat and buckled his belt. "hey thanks man I thought I'd be stuck here" he said Kurt stared at him in disbelief.

"what?" he asked smiled awkwardly at Kurts gaze. "why are you trusting a stranger to take you home? Don't you know it's dangerous to just walk right up to strangers?" Kurt said feeling angry. This boy had a chance. He didn't have to go through what he did. He wasn't _used _and _broken_ like Kurt was

"um I was under the impression if you did turn out to be a pedophile or murder I could easily get away I mean..." he smiled. "you're tiny". With a slight laugh.

Kurt cracked a smile. "whatever where to?" he asked and Blaine bit his lip. "do you know where Dalton Academy is?" he asked and Kurt raise an eyebrow. "yeah and what are you doing here? Its two hours away" he asked.

"definitely not spying on the competition" Blaine said looking at his hands. Kurt backed the car up, "busted" he laughed a little.

XxXxXx

"forgive me for not asking your name" Blaine said shaking his hand. "Kurt...Kurt Hummel" he told him and looked down. This boy was definitely handsome.

"so I guess I'll see you around?" Blaine said and Kurt looked up. "r-really?" he didn't mean to sound like a stupid schoolgirl.

"sure" he smiled and they exchanged phone numbers.

Kurt drove back to his house and busted through the doors.

"hey kiddo" Burt said helping Carole with dinner. "father I'm in love" Kurt said waving at Finn who was playing a hand held at the table.

"How much money?" he asked looking up from the recipe book. Kurt crossed his arms, "it's not clothes...but there is this one outfit" he

started but Burt cut him off. "so it's a..." he started.

"yes dad it's a boy" Kurt finished smiling.

"how did you meet him?" he asked focusing on trying to mix some batter.

"um that's not really relevant...he was a hitchhiker" he mumbled and Burt looked up. "Kurt! How old is this boy? Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.

"chill father, he's like sixteen or seventeen and he needed a ride back to Dalton" Kurt said nibbling on a carrot stick.

"well watch yourself" he replied and Kurt rolled his eyes.

Kurt sat and argued with Finn about what song would be best for sectionals.

"Oh god..." Kurt thought a moment. He looked at the time **6:35**

"shit I'm going to be late for dance" he said and got up a familiar ache starting in his stomach.

"Oh no your teacher called...no practice today but he wants you to go early tomorrow" Burt said. And Kurt stopped cold.

"w-why?" Kurt asked hoping the look of fear wasn't to noticeable.

He shrugged, "whatever you guys do in there" he chuckled. "dancing and stuff.

Kurt bit his lip and tried to settle his churning stomach. "Kurt are you okay honey you look a little pale?" Carole asked. Kurt

held his stomach trying to coax it not to upchuck what little he ate today.

But thinking about being alone with Him. Alone. With no one around. Made his stomach sour...

Kurt groaned and hurried to the trash can. "aw gross" Finn said getting up and walking out.

"Kurt!" Burt said running over and touching his back. "no...no don't touch me" Kurt said heaving again.

When he finished and straightened up weakly. Shaking, he put a hand to his forehead.

"I'm fine...I'm fine" Kurt said walking towards his room.

He softly shut his door and walked to the bathroom. Taking a long, hot shower.

Kurt laid down putting on his iPod and closing his eyes.

_Imagine there's no countries_

_It isn't hard to do_

_Nothing kill or die for_

_And no religion to..._

_Imagine all the people_

_Living life in peace..._

Kurt opened his eyes when his phone vibrated.

**Sooo, I hope I don't sound like a major creeper but I'd like to have **

**coffee soon :)**

**-Blaine**

Kurt smiled weakly. He looked up when his father walked in quietly. "Kurt we need to talk" he said and Kurt quickly tapped Blaine a reply.

**Friday around two is fine ;)**

He put his phone on the table and looked at his father when he sat on his bed.

"Kurt...you know you're my world right?" asked and Kurt smiled shyly. "yeah".

"then tell me what's going on" he sounded desperate.

Kurt forced a fake smile, "wrong? I'm fine dad nothing is wrong" he lied.

"Kurt, you started crying when I said your scarf didn't match your hat" he said.

"I-I take fashion very seriously father you should know that" Kurt laughed nervously and swallowed. His mouth suddenly dry. "your grades are terrible and you just don't look good" he added and Kurt placed his hand on his fathers shoulder.

"dad I'm fine trust me" saying those words made Kurt die a little bit more.

_Please daddy, save me!_

Kurt's head was spinning and tears threatened to spill.

"okay..." he didn't sound convinced as he kissed Kurt's forehead and walked out.

Kurt gasped, wore out.

Yet sleep never made it's way to Kurt.

XxXxXx

Kurt shuddered, closing his eyes.

Blocking it out. Wondering why he had to suffer through this hell. He planted kisses on his neck, and shoulder.

_Damn you're so much older_

He chuckled and dug his nails in Kurt's back and shoved his tongue in Kurt's mouth. He moved his hands down to Kurt's jeans, "I've waited to damn long for this" he said and started pulling at Kurt's clothes.

"No! Don't _please" _Kurt cried out desperately trying to get away. He couldn't take this away. Couldn't take another 'first time' from him.

the man smacked him across the face, he sat there a moment stunned. He grabbed Kurt by the hair and pulled his head back. "Listen princess you'll give me what I want whether you make it go smoothly or not" he hissed and dropped his hold. Kurt sobbed silently and looked longingly at the door. "Lay down" he said in a fake gentle voice. Kurt shook his head, a sob escaping his throat.

Another hard smack, blood trickled down his chin. "Now" he demanded and Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head again. _"_Please..._please_ no" he begged trying to catch his breath.

"Damn i liked it better when you listened right" he muttered and stood. "Get up" he said grabbing Kurts arm roughly. Kurts legs felt weak and shaky wanting so bad to give out. The blow came to his stomach and caught him off guard. He fell against the wall behind him gasping for air. He drew his fist back and punched him in the face. Kurt kept his head low, "Now are you gonna listen?" he said in his ear with a smile. Kurt nodded with a small groan.

He held Kurts head up and smirked, "You're even cute when you're covered in blood".

Kurt felt his stomach twist sickly. "please..." he muttered as the man lead him back over to the couch.

Kurt laid down his vision going spotty for a moment, then focusing as the man got on top of him. Pulling his shirt and pants off, he smiled hungrily when he looked at Kurts near naked form.

He grabbed at Kurts groin, making him gasp.

"I'm going to love being you're first princess"

XxXxXx

Blaine was, totally not, okay maybe a little in love with this Kurt kid.

True they'd only hung out five times after the whole hitchhiking thing but there was something so compelling and mysterious about that chocolate haired boy.

"Earth to Blainers" Jeff said poking his cheek. Blaine swatted his finger away, "What did I say about calling me that?" Blaine muttered angrily

"Do i ever listen to your lectures?" Jeff asked and Blaine rolled his eyes. The end of the day bell rang and he checked his phone.

**No New Messages.**

"Our little Blaine is lonely" Wes said looking over his shoulder. Blaine shut his phone and spun around, "No..." he rubbed the back of his head. "This Kurt kid really has you good doesn't he" David asked as they walked towards the coffee shop.

_I want to go sing a romantic song outside his window kind..._Blaine thought miserably.

Thats when his phone rang, "Hello" he answered there was a pause as someone breathed into the phone.

"Hello?" he asked again, "Blaine?" Kurts voice sounded unbelievably small and broken. "Kurt is that you? Whats wrong?" he asked avoiding his friends kissy faces.

"I need you" Kurt whimpered into the phone, "A-are you hurt?" Blaine asked getting up and grabbing his keys. His friends stopped and listened seriously now.

"I dont know" he cried and Blaine bit his lip. "Where are you at I'm coming" he said and started towards his car.

"I dont know" Kurt repeated miserably. "O-okay I'll track your phone...hold on I'll be there, okay I'll be there" Blaine said and fumbled to unlock his car, he didnt even notice when his friends slid in his back seats.

"Don't hang up!" Kurt nearly screamed, sobbing into the phone. "I'm not honey, I'm not...just talk to me" Blaine said and watched as Wes climbed in the front seat.

Kurt babbled helplessly about something Blaine couldn't understand so he pulled his phone away from his ear and tapped on the IPhone to find Kurt's location.

His mouth dropped open and he placed his phone back to his ear, "Kurt how in the crap are you 10 miles away from home?" Blaine asked. "I-I dont..." Kurt started but stopped. "Kurt? Kurt answer me" Blaine said near speeding his way to Kurt.

"Blaine I'm gonna go find a shower okay?" Kurt said in his crying hysteria. "NO!" Blaine said and went through a yellow light. "No Kurt stay right there" Blaine continued listening to Kurt cry.

It began to rain and Blaine went faster, finally he saw Kurts small form sitting against a vacant building. He had his arms wrapped around his knees as he shook and and cried. He was soaked his hair dripping and his boxers sticking to his pale body.

_It's a good thing no one was around..._

Blaine jumped out dropping his phone, he ran to Kurt. "Kurt?" he said leaning down to Kurt's level. "Blaine?" he answered in his small voice. Blaine held his hand out and Kurt stared at it like it would bite him.

dried blood under his nose and near the side of his mouth scared Blaine. But not as much as his eye which was dark and swollen shut.

"C'mon Kurt I'm going to take you home" Blaine said and got up holding his hands out. Kurt, shakily, took it and Blaine pulled the emaciated boy up and helped him step by step to the car.

His shirt was soaked and clung to his body, Blaine couldn't help but wonder why he didnt have pants on...

he shuddered at the thought, Wes got out letting Kurt in the front. Blaine blasted the heat watching Kurt shake violently. Kurt let out a yelp of pain as he sat down. "Dont worry I'll get you home" Blaine said and drove off. "Kurt where do you live?" Blaine asked Kurt didnt respond his gaze set on the dash.

"Um Kurt-" He started but Kurts body seized forward, "Blaine...I'm going to be sick" he groaned and Blaine stopped pulling over, thanking god again he was in the country with no one around. He hurried out and helped Kurt out. Holding his hair out of his face while he puked.

XxXxXx

Half of the people in his room he didnt even know, but he saw his father. "Oh god Kurt!" he said trying to pull him in a hug. "No..." Kurt whispered and walked past him sitting at his vanity.

"Kurt what happened? Blaine here told me what happened" He said and Kurt shrugged. "I'm fine...I fell down" Kurt mumbled his thoughts thick and syrupy.

"Kurt you're not yourself...I'm taking you to the hospital" he said and grabbed his sons shoulder. "Dont touch me" Kurt growled getting up and knocking over his powder which spilled.

"Kurt please let us help you" Blaine moved forward. "I'm _fine_" Kurt screamed and put his hands to his ears. "I'm fucking fine why dont you just leave me alone?" he yelled crying. They all looked at him shocked.

XxXxXx

Getting Kurt into the car was hard, getting him out was even harder. He screamed and jerked around, Burt and Blaine holding him. "You guys hate me!" he cried as they entered.

The worst part for both of them was when they strapped him down and sedated him.

As they brought him back Burt and Blaine told there story's or well Kurt's.

"Well we'll see what we can do" he said and they waited.

Hours passed before they were called back, when they were the doctor stood somberly.

"Burt..." these people knew him to well...

"Your son is suffering from RTS" he said and Burt shook his head. "Define" he muttered.

"Rape Trauma Syndrome"

* * *

><p><strong>So I didn't know that was a real syndrome but it is! There will be more angst packed chapters :) Review<strong>

Medical Notes:

Symptoms of RTS are

Diminished alertness. Numbness. Dulled sensory, affective and memory functions. Disorganized thought content. Vomiting. Nausea. Paralyzing anxiety. Pronounced internal tremor. Obsession to wash or clean themselves. Hysteria, confusion and crying. Bewilderment.

**I like keeping my stories medically accurate **


	4. Chapter 4

Voices. No singing..._What in the world?_ Kurt thought.

Oh shit maybe there _is _a heaven. "Kurt?" nope that's his fathers voice so he's definitely not in heaven, yet he feels like he flying on a cloud. He didn't open his eyes but he was sure he had a goofy smile on his face. "Where are we dad?" he muttered sighing, he felt great. Better then he'd has in...What the hell was this?

his hand felt a tube in his nose and his eyes flew open to reality. "You're in the hospital" he replied and Kurt looked around. White...eh shit he hated hospitals, the white walls and sheets with the smell of sanitizer and fear.

"Did I fall down?" Kurt asked looking over and furrowing his eyebrows, "Were you singing Blaine?"

His face turned a couple shades of red and he nodded, "I thought maybe you'd like to hear some music..." he answered and looked down at his knees.

He looked over and saw Finn and Carole, "Well didn't i bring a full house" Kurt muttered sarcastically. It felt weird being completely numb now, the way he could look at his hand but not move it or anything made him dizzy.

"No one answered me about why im in here with some damn breathing tube in my nose" Kurt told them, they all looked at each other and Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'll give you guys ten seconds before I start screaming for some nurse, I _can _hit a high F btw" he snarled and Burt chuckled a little. "Glad your attitude didn't leave us" Finn whispered.

"Kurt that's not a breathing tube for one...and" Burt bit his lip, "Do you remember anything?'" he asked and Kurt tried to but his head felt thick and soupy. He shook his head no. "Probably the haldol" he muttered and Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, "Haldol? Isn't that for..." Kurt's eyes widened and his voice sounded small, "tell me what happened" he whispered to his father.

Burt grabbed his hand and squeezed, looking at the others. "Do you guys mind?" he asked and they nodded leaving. "No...wait I want Blaine in here" Kurt said and kept his eyes low. There was something so attracting about this boy he barely knew.

"Kurt you were seriously raped..." and it all came back to Kurt who let out a shudder. The sedative started wearing off in the thick silence, there was a noise and Kurt looked up to see his father crying. "Dad!" he gasped sounding like a he'd been struck.

"How long has this been going on?" he asked and Kurt looked away holding back tears. "I-I don't know what you're talking about" Kurt managed.

"Kurt...Dont lie to me, the doctors know they told me a lot of things, I've read a lot of pamphlets that Blaine over there had to explain to me" he said and sniffed, "Kurt why? why didn't you tell me?" he asked and Kurt looked down. "I have no idea what you're talking about" he replied and Blaine got up setting his guitar down. "May I?" he asked and sat next to Kurt. "Kurt, there's nothing to be afraid of you can tell your father anything" he smiled and patted Kurt's leg. "No offense Blaine I like you a lot, but i barely know you" Kurt smiled and patted his hand back.

He smiled and raised his hands in defense, "Hey that means we need to hang out more" he laughed and Kurt smiled at him. "I'm going to get some coffee" he said and walked out.

Kurt watched after him in desperation, Burt grabbed his hand which made him flinch and look over. "Kurt...the signs I swear i should of seen" he said and swallowed. "The doctors said this most likely went on for a couple years" he looked in Kurt's eyes. "Is is true?" he asked and Kurt opened his mouth, his nose was hurting and it took him a moment to realize his eye was swollen.

Kurt shook his head, "It was a freak attack, I have no idea what they're talking about" Kurt replied. Burt became frustrated. "Why are you defending him?" Burt cried and Kurt flinched.

_Him..._

Kurt eyes glistened, he shook his head, "I don't know anymore" he muttered and Burt looked at him. "I-It's not like you never noticed before _dad"_ he spit the word out like fire.

Kurt's chest heaved up and down, "I needed you...and you were so _fucking _oblivious to everything. I was scared and I _needed _my daddy" Kurt cried out and Burt sat shocked his breath falling short.

Kurt let the tears fall down his cheeks and he looked at the wall with a bitter smile, "You couldn't of asked? Why I acted the way I did, _he _took my entire fucking childhood" Kurt was screamed now. "He took _everything"_

Burt licked his lips, and touched Kurt's hand. "I've been waiting for that" he said softly and Kurt sobbed out loud. Burt gathered him in his arms and hugged him tightly.

They sat there for awhile letting Kurt cry himself out. The thing was though he didn't better about telling...no he felt the exact opposite. He felt like a failure.

"Eight years" Kurt whispered to his father. Burt held himself together but those words stabbed his stomach and made him feel like the worst father in the world.

How had he not seen the signs, the signs every parenting book had...Jesus how?

"So tell me how long you've been puking food out? and cutting...Jesus Kurt you should of just told me you know I'll always be there for you" Burt told him and Kurt looked away from him.

The doctor choose this moment to walk in, "Well Kurt how're you feeling?" he asked with a warm smile. "Fine" he said flatly. "Well your tests show far from that" he replied and looked at his check board.

"Purging is a very dangerous thing young la-man" he probably hadn't dealt with a lot of eating disordered males...

"Your blood cell count is very low so it seems you've developed anemia, which isn't to bad. You'll need iron supplements...your immune system..." he said and paused, "Well never mind on that um let me go get the nurse to get another blood sample" he said and looked worried.

Kurt looked at his father who was staring at the doctor.

Kurt, who would much rather wear Rachel's horrendous wardrobe than have blood taken from him, took his fathers hand as the needle went in.

When they finished Kurt almost laughed, he couldn't take a needle going about one millimeter in his skin but he could drag a razor until blood was pouring down his wrist.

_It's because you're so fucked up!_

Blaine walked back in with a steaming cup, "Sorry Kurt I wasn't allowed to get you any" he smiled and Kurt smiled back at him.

"Its fine" he replied and sat down. Burt gave him the, 'we are so not finished talking about this' look and Kurt couldn't muster the strength to glare back.

XxXxXx

_When I see your smile_

_Tears run down my face_

_I can't replace_

_And now that I'm stronger I've figured out_

_How this world turns cold_

_And breaks through my soul_

_And I know, I'll find deep inside me_

_I can be the one_

Kurt smiled at Blaine as he walked around strumming his guitar and singing. His father had went to talk to the doctor about his tests so it was him and Blaine. Blaine looked at him closely and if Kurt wasn't mistaken (_Please don't let me be!_) he thought Blaine might actually like him.

Or maybe Kurt was overreacting. As long as he wasn't thinking about _Him _though_  
><em>

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven_

_It's okay, it's okay, it's okay_

_Seasons are changing and waves are crashing_

_And stars are falling all for us_

_Days grow longer and nights grow shorter_

_I can show you, I'll be the one_

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven_

Kurt's heart ached, if only he'd been here this whole time maybe he wouldnt be in this mess. He smiled shyly back at Blaine and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. He couldnt help but think why would Blaine want him? He was so _used _and _dirty._ Who would want him? Why was he even really still here? He stopped those macrabre thoughts before they escalted.

_Cause you're my, you're my, my_

_My true love, my whole heart_

_Please don't throw that away_

_'Cause I'm here for you_

_Please don't walk away_

_And please tell me, you'll stay, stay_

_Use me as you will_

_Pull my strings just for a thrill_

_And I know, I'll be okay_

_Though my skies are turning gray_

Kurt could have swore Blaine was singing this him but the other half of him taunted him telling no one in there right mind would want a used piece of dirt like him.

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven_

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven_

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

Kurt smiled and clapped as Blaine fake bowed and laughed. "Hey...I'm really sorry about all this" he started and Kurt's stomach did a painful twist. "Don't be" he replied and looked down at his hands.

Blaine grabbed his chin and pulled his face up, just like He did...

Kurt jerked away and looked back down, "You never look people in the eye" he told him. Kurt shook his head, "People are to judgmental".

"Whataya mean?" he asked sitting back, Kurt shrugged. "You think they're going to pursue this case?" he started and Blaine shrugged. "No there not because they don't care about one little fag who probably wanted this to happen to him because he has no one else in this cow town to hook up with" Kurt replied angrily.

Blaine looked shocked, "B-but that's not true" he muttered, "It doesn't matter I'm gay. They wont care period" he shrugged and Blaine grabbed his hand. "Kurt you really think that low of yourself?" he asked in a sad voice. Kurt ran his tongue along his teeth. He'd never pondered that the hate he had towards himself was so strong.

"I just think that sometimes..." his voice broke. "I-I could'a stopped it...told somebody" he shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. "You were little and scared its not your fault" he told him rubbing his thumb on Kurt's hand.

"He never took my love of dancing and singing though" Kurt smiled. The spotlight was home.

Blaine smiled and pulled back as Kurts father walked in. "How you feeling kiddo?" he asked patting Kurt's leg and sitting down.

He looked troubled. "You ready to talk to the police?" he asked and Kurt froze. "Do...Do they know who did this?" Kurt asked and Burt eyed him. "We have a pretty good idea".

Kurt swallowed and the doctor came in. "How you feeling son?" he asked and Burt immediately stood, "Maybe now's not a good time" he said his voice shrill. The man raised his hand and shushed him. "What does he mean?" Kurt asked now aleart.

He looked at Blaine then the doctor and to his father. "Whats going on?" he demanded.

"Kurt are you aware of any illnesses you've had in the past months?" the doctor asked and Kurt blinked stupidly.

"I've had a lot of colds...I got pneumonia two months ago but what does that have to do with anything?" he asked his heart pounding.

"I know this is a tough topic to discuss but during the time you were being sexually abused, did he ever force you to perform oral sex?" he asked and Kurt nearly got sick his face visibly getting paler.

He nodded looking at the wall. The doctor nodded and swallowed.

"Kurt we found CD4 cells in your blood stream" he said and Kurt shook his head. "Okay?" he replied.

"A certain virus takes over CD4 cells and turns them into factories that produce thousands of copies of the virus. As the virus makes copies, it damages or kills the CD4 cells, weakening the immune system" he said and Kurt's mouth dropped.

"Kurt you have been living with HIV for three years and its starting to take a toll on your body, and theres a high risk that it will turn into full blown AIDS"

* * *

><p><strong>Aw shit I'm so mean! lol but there will be more soon. Review PLEASE!<strong>

**anybody need a friend on Tumblr? Mine is .com :D  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**you guys are so awesome thanks for reading :) **

* * *

><p>Blaine watched Kurt from the couch. His sluggish movements. His pale face, the way he looked like a porcelain doll, ready to shatter at any moment. Like a gentle caress could cause this fragile boy to crack at any point.<p>

He turned back to Finn who talked about collage football nodding mutely.

He felt Finn nudge him and he looked up, "huh? Sorry Finn what were you-" he started but Finn stopped him. "is he okay?" Finn asked gesturing to Kurt who had been leaning over doing the dishes rather silently.

Blaine opened his mouth but there was a sound of glass breaking that made them jump up. Finn seemed more alert reaching the kitchen just in time.

Kurt leaned over the trash can hurling. Finn stopped and tensed. He didn't know what to do. Blaine stepped forward and pulled a chair up.

Blaine pushed Kurt gently in the seat and went to get a wet rag. "you okay dude?" Finn asked looking around awkwardly.

Kurt didn't reply his face deathly pale and his hands shaking as he clutched the sides of the garbage cans.

Finn didn't really know how to feel weeks after the whole hospital, rape thing Kurt just got worse. His father was making sure he ate but he looked even thinner and sickly then ever.

He was puking a lot to, Finn wondered if he was pregnant. But he wasn't really sure how a baby would come out of a penis...

Oh well back to Kurt, he was getting colds a lot to..._maybe he is pregnant._

"Finn" he was snapped from his thoughts. "did his water break?" Finn asked suddenly. Blaine stopped and looked at him. "what?" he asked and shook his head.

"nothing sorry" he replied reddening slightly.

"can you call Burt?" Blaine asked as he wiped Kurt's sweaty forehead. "sure dude" Finn said pulling his cell phone out. "call me dude again and I'll punch you in the balls" Blaine mumbled comically.

"Finn? What's up?" Burt asked sounding a little frightened. Finn looked away as Kurt hurled again. It was starting to smell like vomit and it made Finn feel nauseated. "Kurt's puking everywhere" Finn said maybe that was a little exaggerated. "not everywhere but in the trash can...a lot" he said and Burt sighed. "I get you...I'll be home in fifteen minutes" he said and hung up.

"he'll be here in a few" Finn announced and walked out.

Blaine made soothing circles into Kurt's back with his thumb. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

Especially after Kurt would wake up screaming or go into traumatic stress and have flashbacks.

The man who had been doing this to Kurt had ran off after they opened an official investigation. Which left all of them in a state of paranoia.

He looked back to Kurt who was staring at the garbage can spacing. Blaine hoped he wasn't having a flashback.

Those are the worst because he starts telling them and he really didn't like to hear about the abuse.

"Kurt" I gently shook his shoulders. "No" he screamed jerked away standing up fast. He looked around and breathed. "sorry...sorry" his shoulders fell limp from there tense form.

"hey it's okay" I smiled and helped him in the living room.

XxXxXx

Dinner consisted of Finn blabbering about school, Carole and Burt occasionally talking about work, Blaine and Finn arguing and Kurt staring into a spot for a while.

Burt would shake him and remind him to finish his plate while Carole would try to spring another conversation so Kurt wouldn't be embarrassed.

Burt watched as Kurt lifted the fork like it was a million pound weight. The doctor told him he'd gotten so deep in his eating disorder thing it would be hard to pull him out. Damn was he right. Not only was Kurt's esophagus ruined but eating physically hurt now. Probably because acid from the bile had stripped his pharynx, what ever that meant

When they finished Burt would help Kurt to his room upstairs and monitor his bathroom time. Since he'd found razors and lighters. (Kurt disposed of his cigarettes in time)

He'd then tuck his son in but not before checking his wrists and usual stuff.

It bothered Burt that Kurt rarely talked anymore. Usually he ended up crying anyway.

Burt would have never imagined that his son would be raped. Or even molested for so many years. Those words made him cringe and tremble because he could have noticed and stopped it before it had gotten this far...

LINE

Blaine woke up hearing Kurt whimpering. Which was always what he did before he started screaming. He silently crept over to Kurt's bed and felt his forehead. It was hot. He went and got a wet rag placing it on Kurt's forehead and taking his hand.

Kurt opened his eyes, "mommy?" he asked weakly trying to keep his eyes open. "no...it's me Blaine" he felt bad for saying that...But at least Burt had let Blaine stay so he was the best Kurt would get...

"can you sing to me? Like she use to" he asked and Blaine smiled. "Of course". He thought.

_Isn't he lovely_

_Isn't he wonderful_

_Isn't he precious_

_Nothing less than perfect_

_I never thought in life I'd see_

_Some one as lovely as he_

_But isn't he lovely made from love_

_Isn't he pretty_

_Truly the angel's best_

_Boy, I'm so happy_

_I've have been heaven blessed_

_I can't believe what God has done_

_through him, he's given life to me_

_But isn't he lovely made from love_

_Isn't he lovely_

_Life and love are the same_

_I am complete_

_The meaning of his name_

_Honey, it could have not been done_

_Without you who is the one_

_That's so very lovely made from love_

He finished his version of that song and kissed Kurt's cheek. The tender rise and fall of Kurt's chest let him know he was back in dream land.

XxXxXx

_The colors are beautiful...simply breath taking. Kurt looks out at the ocean the smell of salt and seaweed in the air._

_The sky was smudged pink and orange as the sun set on the horizon. The twinkle of barely there stars were in the distance reminding them twighlight was near._

_The gentle breeze made Kurt shiver as he turned his head to see his mother. Oh what he beautiful woman she was._

_Long curly chestnut hair and almond eyes that sparkled. Her skin the same porcelain yet healthy glow that Kurt so lacked now._

_The bottom of her summer dress which was colored pink and yellow billowed in the breeze. Kurt felt content. Staying here would be nice. "mom" he said aloud cherishing the laugh that came from her thinly glossed lips._

_Then the sun was gone, and it was dark. A familiar worry grew in the pit of Kurts stomach. He looked over to see his mother walking away. "mommy wait!" he cried and felt himself being pulled away._

_"you're all used up honey...i'd much rather have a son like Finn" she told him and walked away leaving Kurt in tears. The air was freezing now and bitter. Darkness, no more ocean or palm trees. Pure darkness. Kurt found himself curled up in a corner._

_Literally it was a out of body experience. He was watching himself as a eight year old curled in the corner._

_He couldn't move or speak only watch in horror as He neared the small boy._

_You're so beautiful Kurt_

_His touch stung the small boy like snake fangs biting into his skin._

_Please no...young Kurt begged as the man tore his clothing off_

_Trust me kid_

_His voice dripped like the venom into Kurts ears._

Kurt's breathing became rapid as he watched the man defile his young self.

Nausea waved over him and made him shake in rage.

_You took it all from me._..

Kurt yelled.

_You took everything!_

XxXxXx

Kurt woke up gasping, glad that this time he'd managed not to wake up the others.

These days he'd been feeling like a burden. Not like they'd _made_ him feel like a burden but the way they treated him a like a piece of glass about the shatter.

He got up and walked to the bathroom, his usual routine was avoid all mirrors relieve his bladder and return but this time he caught his own gaze. The full body mirror mocked him. His face a little sunken and very pale. But his body was skeletal.

He put his left arm behind his shoulder feeling his spine that jutted out.

He pulled his shirt off and studied his body. He smiled a little, because isn't this what he had worked for? Those countless times he'd purged or fasted. Running miles or taking the stairs. It's paid off...no?

"Kurt..." he looked up and saw Blaine. Kurt immediately drew his shirt back up to throw it back on. How dare Blaine.

"don't" he whispered and took the shirt setting it on the hamper. "that's not dirty and I want it folded" Kurt mumbled and Blaine grabbed his shoulders.

"Kurt you look...tiny" he looked in his eyes. Kurt drew a shuddery breath. "coach said being skinny was beautiful" Kurt told him looking at the ground avoided Blaine and his reflection.

"Kurt you're more then skinny you're frightening" he told him grabbing his hand. "yet you're so beautiful" he told him. Kurt shuddered at the words.

_You're so beautiful._

"no I'm not" he snapped harshly. Blaine chuckled, "you're so much more".

Kurt looked up, "why do you stay?" he asked and Blaine was shocked. "what do you mean" he asked. Kurt's body shook slightly. "look at me, really really look at me. I'm worthless now, I'm used up Blaine don't you see?" he muttered in a sad voice.

"no...no, no you're not" he said a little worried at his morbid words.

"you, Kurt, are amazing, wonderful and gorgeous" he pulled Kurt into a hug. Kurt's head against his chest with his hands clinging to Blaine's shirt as they slid to the floor.

"I couldn't imagine a world without you, it would be boring" he said in a soothing tone. He ran his fingers through Kurt's hair.

"you're going places, you'll change the entire world I know it, you just have to get past this patch" he told him and Kurt drew back shivering at Blaines touch.

He got up sadly, "if the HIV doesn't kill me first" he told him.

"don't say that!" Blaine exclaimed getting up and looking at him sternly. "you hear me? Don't talk like that" he warned and touched Kurt's cheek. He flinched away.

"do you think I'll grow up? Be a star?" Kurt asked walking out and laying down.

Blaine nodded, "and when you do I hope you dance for me".

XxXxXx

"prayers" the doctor told him with a somber smile.

Burt looked at him rage building. "you're telling me there's no cure for This shit?" he yelled looking into the room where Kurt was receiving an IV.

"Mr. Hummel please, I'm sorry only a strict drug regiment and faith, while we will be practicing things in the future" he told them. "what if that's to late?" Burt cried out and the doctor bit his lip.

"we'll just have to pray" he shrugged and Burt felt absolutely hopeless. "I should have learned not to trust doctors after they told me my wife would live a couple more years. She died a week later" he spat and stormed in kurts room.

Kurt's face was covered in a red blotchy bumps. Burt really didn't want to know where else it was either.

His neck was slightly puffed where his lymph nodes where swollen also. Which had caused the surprise hospital visit. "the swelling will go down in a few honey" the nurse said and handed Burt a bag with medications and lotions.

He mumbled a thanks and helped Kurt to the car.

XxXxXx

A couple weeks later Kurt woke up feeling fine. Which was a transition from the previous weeks which were spent with every illness you could think of. "please? Dad I just want to run to the store an pick up more moisturizers" Kurt begged his father. "how're you feeling?" he raised an eyebrow studying Kurt.

"dad you heard the doctor this disease has it's ups and lows. Let me take my up please" he snapped and Burt smiled. He felt like he was talking to regular Kurt again.

"fine" he threw him the car keys and Kurt ran out to the car.

It was a warm day outside the sun beating down. Kurt wondered when Blaine would get back from the dentist. He actually felt good today and some quality time with Blaine would be fun.

He reached the store in no time bouncing in. He was glad this week hadn't brought a rash to his face, and certain other places. He was also glad he wasn't puking his guts out because his clothes didn't fit him anymore and they don't make to many small sizes unless he shopped in the boys department.

The store wasn't to packed only people picking up food for pick-nicks and outings. Kurt stood in the beauty/cosmetic isle and contemplated the difference between all the moisturizers.

When he finished he was holding a handful of crap he didn't really need, but what the hell.

The drive home was quiet yet sobering. He let the soft music of Wicked play out.

_It's time to try defying gravity_

_Watch me try defying gravity_

_And you won't bring me down!_

Kurt sang along as he pulled up. He wondered why his fathers truck was gone and Blaine wasn't here yet either...

He grabbed his bags and walked inside. "dad?" he yelled. No answer.

He sighed they must of went out. He neatly took his shoes off and put them in place. He sat on the couch with a cup of Boost his doctors told him he should drink. Because withering away would not help the whole HIV thing.

He turned on the TV and flicked through channels till the door opened behind him.

"Blaine?" he called out and there was a strange.

_Mm hm_. Kurt didn't really pay attention to the fact that that voice was a lot lower than Blaines until a rag was shoved against this nose and mouth.

He shrieked and tried to get away but inhaled the sweet scent of that rag and felt dizzy. He stood and tried to turn but fell forward hitting his head in the side of the table.

The last thing he remembered was being drug off. Then darkness slammed him.

* * *

><p><strong>haha i love doing this to you guys :) chapter 6 in the works<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

_Darkness. It's so dark...why? Why is it so dark? I want to open my mouth and scream, nothing but a mere whimper comes out. I want to wave my arms around, let someone know I'm here! I'm alive! But this darkness, spiraling blackness was eating me alive. Beating at my chest, wrapping around my throat and suffocating me._

_His voice oozing with hate and dripping into my ear. It made me shudder, made me want to crawl away. The way he would flick his fingers over exposed flesh. Tears swelled in my eyes, yet never fell. He whispered in my ear while his hands explored. You're so beautiful, he would let his breath linger in my ear so I could smell it coated _

_with alcohol._

_I would whimper as a open wound would be touched then pried into. He liked my pain. Liked when I cried, and screamed. But now...right now he had me how he liked me, unable to move, talk or scream. I love you Kurt do you love me? he would ask and kiss my lips. So rough and unloving. He would run his tongue along my bottom lip. And I could do nothing._

_Because the darkness was swallowing me whole! I lay in the darkness hearing His voice. The voice I hate so much. Where was my father? Where was anybody? Why wasn't anybody saving me? I would think then my head would get swimmy and heavy and the darkness would overpower me._

Kurt cracked an eyelid open the light of the moon assaulting him. He closed it then opened both of his eyes. The wall. He hated that wall. He couldn't lift his head, Yet he didn't want to. Kurt moved his leg the chain clinking. His hand was next to his face, he moved his fingers slowly letting the blood start circulating again. He could tell it was night the room was only light by the moon. The sound of cars below drove him crazy. How could they not know? He placed a hand on his throat running my finger along the bruises and hickeys. staring at the wall that he hated so much. It was white. He cringed as his hand trailed along the marks on his face. He lay there till the sun shined

through the small window near the ceiling. Kurt wondered where he was. Kurt stood up his hands placed flat against the wall guiding him up. His legs wobbled and the chain around his neck clanked. He laid his forehead against the wall, even though he hated that wall.

White. White. White. That's all he saw.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Was all he heard.

It was driving him crazy. He balled his hand into a fist and hurled it at the wall nothing but pain. Not dent, hole or scratch. he opened his mouth let out a scream and hurled both my fists at the wall repeatedly. Then scratching blood and splinters covering his fingers. "you stupid ass wall" he screamed. Suddenly the door opened. "what the fuck are you doing?"

_That voice..._

"You..." Kurt mumbled staring down at the wall. "I just couldn't stay away baby" he laughed and Kurt felt sick. "I don't want you near me" Kurt disguised the quiver in his voice with hate.

"You see it's not that easy" he said and walked towards him. Turning him around with a snarl, "Look at me when I'm talking you little shit".

he slammed Kurt against the wall holding his throat. Kurt squirmed and gasped for air. "I like you better when you kept your pansy little mouth shut, I liked it better when you said you wouldn't tell" he said angrily then leaned towards Kurts ear. "But you did tell didn't you?".

Kurt lashed out and scratched his face, he dropped his hold and yelled out. "You stupid _bitch_".

Kurts heart pounded quickly, the man grabbed his hair violently and slammed his head against the wall, "You're really pissing my off" he snarled as Kurt tried to regain composure.

he blinked, Now was not a time to pass out.

The man looked him in the eyes with a smirk. "You're lucky you're hot to".

Kurts chest heaved in and out as he stared with hate at this man. "Two things you're going to have to get use to princess, you're mine now" he spat and Kurt felt rage build up. He was not a _thing _that this bastard could just own.

"And you try to get away, i will hunt you down and mar that pretty porcelain skin of yours" he hissed and Kurt felt dizzy and his vision started going spotty.

"Oh and another thing, you ever try to scream and i will cut your throat open, rip out your jugular and make you eat it". Kurt stared at this man in horror. He was more then just a sexual predator this man was a freaking _sadist._

XxXxXx

The next time Kurt woke up his head throbbed and he felt sick. He looked around, he was no longer in that white room. No now he was in a dining room, at a table. he tried to get up but found his hands tied behind his back and his legs chained to the chair.

It was a nice house actually, very home-y.

"Oh you're awake" he said and Kurt stared at him strangely. "Let me go please" Kurt groaned his tongue felt think and his face itched. This was a terrible time for a rash to spring.

"I see you have symptoms of HIV" he asked curiously. like he wanted Kurt to say it.

"Yeah thanks a lot you bastard" Kurt spat out at him trying to get his hands loose only to tighten it and make his hands numb. The man chuckled, "my sister has it to" he told him and Kurt stared at him in horror. He saw the look. "Oh no...no no no not like that my mother had it and passed it on" he replied. This conversation wasn't making him feel any better.

"Please..._please_ just let me go" Kurt said choking on tears, there was a ringing and he got up to answer it. Kurt looked around frantically, he wanted to scream or thrash around. But this man...he could do anything.

So he did the last thing he wanted to do, he sat there and sobbed. His hope deteriorating.

XxXxXx

After his phone call the man talking to him more casually. It was driving Kurt crazy, there was a soft knock on the door and the man stood, Kurt watched him.

_Please let it be the police_

There was a voice, a familiar voice that brought butterflies to Kurts stomach. Blaine! It was Blaine!

Then it dawned on him, why was he here?

Kurt gasped as Blaine was brought out with his hands behind his back and someone holding his arm leading him in. "Kurt!" he sounded relieved Kurt smiled to him and Blaine looked around. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked as the man forced him into a chair.

"I'm fine" he told him looking a lump that was forming on his head. "Please...he's sick look at him he needs a doctor" Blaine told them frantically. "It's no use Blaine" Kurt told him smiling weakly. "I'm okay I promise".

"Okay boys" the man clapped his hands making them look at him. "I am the kind of guy that wouldn't survive in prison..." he started and Blaine stopped him. "Oh trust me thats where you will be going" he snarled.

"Shut it diwata" he warned Blaine smirked. "Cute" he muttered looking back to Kurt.

"So I can't have you prowling around" he said pointing a finger at Blaine. "Besides I dont trust Filipinos you guys freak me out..." he mumbled and Blaine looked at him confused.

"Just let Kurt go he's sick" he told him and Kurt gasped. "Not without you" Kurt cried.

"Aw isnt that cute" He said looking at Blaine with fiery eyes. "Kurt is _mine_, and no one will take him away again" he yelled slamming his fist on the table, Kurt made a noise and jumped. "Your father doesn't scare me to much..." he looked at his nails. "I mean he didnt notice anything till _now_" Kurt looked away hiding his tears.

There was another knock and He looked over at his friend that had brought Blaine, "Who is that?" he asked worriedly. The man shrugged, "Get the kid" The man pulled out a gun and forced Blaine up. "You answer the door, you lead anyone to believe _anything _is going on here I'll blow Kurts head off" he whispered to Blaine. "I understand" he mumbled looking down.

"Come with me" He said and grabbed Kurt. He led him out a backdoor. It was already getting late the sun was going halfway down. He pushed Kurt in front of a small window. He held it open and gestured, "Get under" he whispered and Kurts eye widened. "Please no I'll be quiet!" he told him and the man pushed him to the ground. "Now or your boyfriend is a goner" he told him and Kurt crawled under.

It was dark and smelled like mold. Kurt wiggled his way under as the man shut the window and locked it. Kurt sat in there debating whether he should scream

_They have Blaine! You can't _

Kurt let out a whimper trying to keep his head up so it wouldnt get muddy. He felt bugs crawling on him. Another fear, bugs, there probably worse then needles and Rachels clothes combined.

He tried to shake them off but it was a small crawlspace. He felt like he wasnt getting enough oxygen, like the air was running out. He started hyperventilating tasting dirt. Squeezing his eyes close he started counting and steadying his breathing out.

By the time He came and got Kurt again, it was dark and Kurt was panicking. When he was pulled out he breathed in the outside air like his life depended on it...which it probably did...

"Have fun?" He smirked leading Kurt back into the house. "Just let me go" Kurt cried letting Him jerk him around like a rag doll.

Because he just didnt feel like fighting anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry this is short but i have a lot of appointments tomorrow where I'll be working on chapter 7, promise it will be longer :) I did and will add more um...horror? Idk that isnt the word I'm looking for but you know what i mean. <strong>

**If you dont like the way the stories going i am also sorry!  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Warnings: **little bit of torture and language. Not to much blood. :)

* * *

><p>"Kurt…Kurt wake up" Blaine said nudging his shoulder, Kurt's snorted and looked up, "Huh?"<p>

Blaine chuckled slightly and looked at him sadly. Blaine touched his scorching forehead, and smiled. "You doing okay?" He asked Kurt.

Kurt laid his head against Blaine's shoulder and shuddered. "I can't feel my legs" Kurt groaned.

Blaine held Kurt close, wrapped in his arms. The room was getting darker as the sun went down. "We'll be home soon, it's okay" Blaine cooed and intertwined their hands.

"It's so cold" Kurt cried out his small body shaking. "I know" Blaine choked back a sob. The door opened and Blaine hugged Kurt tight. "Back off" he snarled

The man laughed and moved closer allowing light to light up the empty room. Kurt's small body shook with fear. As the man knelt down next to him, ripping him away from Blaine's grasps

The man grabbed his chin and made their eyes meet, Blaine heard a small noise come from Kurt. "Don't touch him please" Blaine begged trying with all his might to get free.

"You're mine Kurt" the man hissed and all's Blaine could look at was Kurt's scared face. "Fuck you" Kurt replied his voice so soft.

The man put his lips to Kurt's, pressing deep kisses to the small boy. Kurt tried to protest and push him but he was stronger. Suddenly Kurt felt a rush of pain as the man bit down on Kurt's bottom lip until it was gushing blood.

He pulled back and laughed. "Be good Kurt" he said and was stunned when Kurt tried to get up and break free.

Before Kurt could react the man's fist connected with Kurt's cheek and he fell against the wall then to the floor spitting out blood. The groan filled the air. "Kurt no! Stop this, take me instead, just let him go he's sick" Blaine yelled but he walked out with a promise of being back.

Blaine looked over at Kurt who was on the floor, making pain noises. His lip turning a bluish purple under all the blood

XxXxXx

When Blaine woke up he looked around. He saw Kurt curled up in his spot and a fear grew in him.

"Kurt?" he croaked.

There was a small noise from his direction and Blaine stood up trying to break his chains.

Suddenly there was a crack and it broke out, he ran over to Kurt and touched his body.

Kurt tensed and cried, "It's me Kurt it's Blaine" Blaine said gathering Kurt up and holding him. He suppressed a cry when he saw Kurt's face covered in blood and bruised. His eye swollen up and bruises all the way down his neck. His lips red and purple bite marks on his neck and shoulders.

"Kur" he sniffed but couldn't finish.

"B-Blaine" Kurt gasped and opened his eyes, or what eye he could.

"It's me I'm here" Blaine nuzzled his face in Kurt's hair muffling his crying.

And they stayed like that till Kurt fell asleep.

Days passed and Blaine watched as Kurt got worse. The man would come and take him sometimes.

When Kurt would go back to the room he never repeated what happened.

One day, 2 weeks into them being there. Kurt came back his face pale and his small form shaking. The man had a hold of him and threw him to the ground; he hit it with a thud and a groan of pain.

A little while later Kurt was up against the wall and making pain noises.

"Blaine…Blaine I think I'm getting sick" Kurt gasped and Blaine ran over to him and rubbed his back as he bent over and started gagging, the bile slide from his mouth on to the floor as he coughed and cried.

Blaine pushed his hair out of his eyes and rubbed his back. Suddenly the door opened and there was an amused chuckle from the man.

"Blaine, Blaine, Blaine" he clapped and Kurt sat back wiping his mouth. "He's sick he needs a doctor" Blaine cried holding Kurt tightly, so tight Kurt gasped for air.

"Get back to your place you little bitch" the man said to Blaine pulling out a gun.

"Plea-"he started but the man aimed the gun at Kurt's head.

"Get back or I will blow Kurt's little brains out all over you" he snarled and Blaine let go laying him down despite Kurt pleading for him to come back.

"Don't leave me" Kurt cried and the man bent down as Blaine made his way back to his spot.

"Oh" he said and Kurt didn't make eye contact as his head went back against the wall.

"You puked" he said stupidly and grabbed Kurt's hair slamming his face in the puke and rubbing his cheek in it. "Don't puke where you have to sleep!" he smiled evilly.

Kurt tried to push himself up feeling the same nauseating sensation.

The man stood and pulled back his leg to kick Kurt in the stomach; he let out a groan and curled into himself.

Days went on

XxXxXx

Blaine sat against the wall watching Kurt's motionless body.

"Ku…Kurt" he rasped his throat drier than ever

No reply.

"Kurt!" he cried tears spilling down his face, banging his head against the wall.

"Hmm…" Kurt's voice was small and dead. "Don't give up baby" he told him.

He realized the temperatures in the room where dropping.

Actually it was nearly freezing after awhile…

He looked over and saw Kurt curl into a tight ball,

Blaine tried to build up strength; he needed Kurt in his arms.

Blaine passed out for awhile, when he opened his eyes the man was just walking in.

"Please I'm begging you, leave him alone, please god please" he cried.

He smiled and bent down towards Kurt who gave a strangled sob. "Oh good I thought you were dead" he said and grabbed him up violently.

Blaine nearly had to look away; Kurt's face was a deathly pale, sunken. His body was tiny, and his clothes torn.

The man sat down pulling Kurt into his lap. Blaine looked away in repugnance.

The man pulled out a bottle of water and a cell phone. Kurt looked at the water longingly, the man raised an eyebrow.

The way he was holding Kurt, near manhandling him made Blaine sick to his stomach

The man gave Kurt the water and Kurt drank it slowly, savoring it. Leaving about half Kurt looked up at Blaine. "B-Blaine" Kurt rasped out and Blaine smiled. "No Kurt drink it yourself" he said and Kurt set it on the floor and rolled it to Blaine.

"Kurt really…" Blaine said but the look in Kurt's eye told him he shouldn't argue. "Thanks" he said and drunk it fast.

"Call your father, tell him you're not coming home" the man said handing Kurt the phone. Kurt's arms where small and he gripped the phone

"Please no…" Kurt whispered and struggled to keep his eyes open. The man pulled out a gun and cocked it, "Do it you little shit" he said and Kurt dialed it slowly

It rang and his father's voice sounded, when he heard his father's voice he felt tears pound at his chest. A small noise escaped his throat.

"Hello?" his father asked angrily.

"Dad" he cried tears falling down his face, "Kurt oh my god Kurt" his voice taking on a softer tone.

Kurt sniffed and stiffened as the man put the gun to his head. "Kurt tell me where are you?" He cried and Kurt struggled to talk.

"D-dad…I'm not c-coming home" he said and cried out loud, "Kurt what are you talking about? Are you okay?" he asked and Kurt shook his head as if he could see.

"I love you" he said and the man grabbed the phone and hung up. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?" he said throwing the phone letting it smash against the wall.

Kurt flinched and let the silent tears make their sluggish way down his cheeks.

The man stood up Kurt still grasped in his arms only to throw Kurt's body down on the floor with a loud thud.

Kurt screamed out in pain as his head hit the floor first. Kurt tried to pull himself up by placing his hand on the wall. But the man kicked him and his pointer and middle finger cracked and bended.

Another cry of pain

"You're so pale…I love the color red on you" he laughed and pulled Kurt over by his hair; he flicked out a pocket knife and laid it on Kurt's face.

Kurt winced as the cold metal touched his face. He let it linger there a moment, let Kurt take in the horror of the moment.

"Don't you think red is a lovely color on him Blaine?" the man asked wondrously

"No…leave him alone" Blaine screamed his throat hurting. The man slid the knife across Kurt's cheek letting him feel the sensation. Blood formed and slowly dripped down.

"You have such…a beautiful face…so perfect" he said and that sickened Blaine the most. The way the man looked at Kurt with so much hunger and lust.

"So beautiful I feel bad marring it" Kurt let out a whimper.

The man slung Kurt over where Blaine had a good view.

He pulled himself onto Kurt straddling him, "Please…no! No!" Kurt screamed and the man put his face close to Kurt's.

"I dreamed of this day Kurt, as you got older, I wanted to fuck you then mutilate you, cut you into small pieces so no one would ever find you" he whispered, and it made Blaine tremble.

"Don't hurt me please" Kurt sobbed loudly. The man laughed and ran his blade down Kurt's temple all the way to his bottom cheek bone.

Kurt let out a scream and struggled. He pressed the blade to Kurt's lips, "Those lips…look so smooth" he smiled wickedly and bent down to give Kurt a kiss

He drew back and pulled out some duct tape. He covered Kurt's mouth so all's you could hear was his heavy breathing and him sobbing.

The man wiped the blood off his blade and laid it on Kurt's right jaw line. "You have the jaw line of a model…you could be a model…" he said like he was talking to himself.

He pressed the blade harder despite Kurt's screams. He ran the blade across his cheek starting at his jaw line to his nose.

"You're so beautiful" he said and looked at Kurt hard like he was trying to figure out something.

He ran a finger across the cut allowing his finger to dig in. "Do you love him?" he asked angrily about Blaine. Kurt was shaking and crying to bad to answer.

"Answer me!" He screamed making Kurt jerk and cry out. He nodded and the guy shook his head.

He scowled and started making cuts on his face. Then moving to his throat, he kissed it. "You're not allowed to love him…I love you Kurt I love you so much I'm willing to put you out of misery"

He didn't notice Blaine walking behind him. Blaine lashed out and pushed him off Kurt. He stumbled a little on the floor and Blaine drew back kicking him in the face then the groin.

"You little shit!" he screamed trying to get up.

Blaine, with shaking hands, grabbed the gun and pointed it at him. "Do it Blaine…kill me" he said even though fear was in his eyes.

Blaine looked around like he was scared. Then pulled the trigger, the bullet hitting him in the chest

He gasped out then fell silent. Blaine dropped the gun and ran over to Kurt. His face was bloody and cut up.

Blaine ripped the tape off and grabbed Kurt, crying he held him close. He rocked back and forth while Kurt cried in pain. Blaine pulled his shirt off and held it to Kurt's bleeding wounds on his face

"Kurt, C'mon we have to go get help" Blaine said shaking him. His body was limp, "Kurt please wake up" Blaine cried tears falling from Blaine's cheeks on Kurt's face. "I'm fine" Kurt whispered not opening his eyes. "No Kurt you're not…you've never been" Blaine cried out. "Stop resisting help, I know you're so independent, but I'm here for you Kurt…I-I love you" those words slipped out.

A small smile formed on Kurt's face, "I l-love you too" He replied.

They laid there and cried hoping someone would save them. "Can you sing to me?" Kurt asked as Blaine ran his finger along Kurt's arm.

"Sure" he smiled wishing Kurt would at least open his eyes.

_I hope you never lose your sense of wonder  
>You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger<br>May you never take one single breath for granted  
>God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed<em>

_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean  
>whenever one door closes I hope one more opens<br>Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance  
>and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance<em>

Kurt opened his eyes and found Blaine's hazel one's. He smiled as Blaine's soothing voice rang out.

_I hope you dance  
>I hope you dance<em>

_I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance_  
><em>Never settle for the path of least resistance<em>  
><em>Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking<em>  
><em>Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making<em>

_Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter_  
><em>When you come close to selling out reconsider<em>  
><em>Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance<em>  
><em>And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance<em>

_I hope you dance_  
><em>I hope you dance<em>

_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean_  
><em>Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens<em>  
><em>Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance<em>  
><em>And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance<em>

_Dance_  
><em>I hope you dance<em>

Blaine wiped a few stray tears from his face as he finished. "My mom...she use to sing that to me" Kurt said and stopped and cringed. "You okay?" Blaine asked pressing the shirt to clot the bleeding. Kurt opened his mouth to say he was fine but stopped. "She taught me to dance" Kurt said looking back at Blaine. He smiled sadly, "And she told me she'd go to every dance recital" Kurt sniffed and grimaced. "She died a week later".

"Then you will dance for her when we get out of this" Blaine smiled at Kurt. Kurt's smile faded, "Blaine..." he shook his head, "If I die please dont be..." Kurt started but Blaine stopped him. "Hush Kurt you will make it" He said and kissed his cheek.

Blaine watched as Kurts head fell limp and his eyes closed. "Kurt...Kurt wake up" he said shaking him. Nothing. "Kurt" he whimpered feeling his neck for a pulse. His lymph nodes were swollen but he could feel a faint pulse.

Thats when the door opened, "Kurt?" there was a familiar voice. "Right here" Blaine called out exausted.

* * *

><p><strong>okay sorry for the wait, had to be at the hospital and all that crap. Sorry if you dont like the way it headed but Oh well who ever does like it, I love you lol. :) Thanks for reading But this isnt the end :) Chapter 8 in works. Will there be a character death :0<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

The scene that followed was very anticlimactic, like in the movies where people are running and hugging and crying. Then the credits roll up and it's all sun shiny happy times. No this, this was near disturbing.

When Burt had gotten the call from Kurt, the cops had the line bugged so they had tracked there location.

When they got there Burt couldn't control himself he ran into the house, ignoring the cops calls, and busted through the door. The minute Burt caught eye of that bastard he felt a blinding rage. He grabbed his collar and slammed him into the wall.

The man looked scared, and Burt loved seeing it. "You sick fucking pervert, give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you right now" he yelled. The man was frozen his eyes wide, it made Burt angrier.

He couldn't help but think his son, his little baby boy, looking at _this _man in fear as he defiled him. The man pushed him and Burt threw him to the floor. He laid into him then throwing a punch to his face. They all heard a sickening pop as the man's nose gushed blood.

"That feel good you son of a bitch?" he yelled and the cops were grabbing him, "Burt settle down let us take care of this" the officer said pushing him back. Burt then took a real good look, "That's not him" he said a little speechless. "Where is he? Huh where is that bastard that hurt my son?" Burt yelled and the man weakly lifted a finger.

That's when he remembered Kurt had to be here somewhere. He followed Finn who was checking rooms.

Finally they reached a room. As they entered the smell overpowered them, urine, puke and fear. "Kurt" he said out seeing a figure huddled in the corner. "Right here" it was Blaine's voice, Finn flipped on a light and the room lit up.

There was an awful cry from Burt when he saw his son and that Blaine kid all crumpled up against the wall. Blaine was holding Kurt to his chest like he would disappear.

"Blaine oh god Kurt are you guys okay?" Finn said as the officers called in an ambulance. Burt tried to grab Kurt but Blaine held on tighter, closer. He couldn't lose him.

Not after this.

Blaine buried his face in Kurt's hair, rocking still.

"We need to get you guys help" Burt said gently, why wasn't his son talking or moving though?

But Blaine wouldn't let go until the ambulance got there. They brought to gurneys in, prying Kurt from his grasps.

Kurt was still as they got him out. Burt couldn't look at him, his face all cut up and bloody. Blaine struggled as they tried to get him on a gurney. "Get offa me! He needs me!" Blaine screamed until his energy was gone and he let them take him away.

XxXxXx

Blaine woke up with a start. He looked around at the white walls. "Where am I?" he whispered and looked over to see his father and mother looking at him.

Kurt…

"Where's Kurt?" he asked getting up accidently pulling a wire out of his arm.

"Ah" he groaned and rubbed the spot where the IV was. "Honey please…Kurt's in ICU" his mother said pushing him slightly. "I need to go be with him-I promised" Blaine said brushing his parents off.

"Blaine please" his mother said and he turned around grabbing her shoulders. "I'm seventeen mother…Kurt…I like him and-and I-I will NOT let him wake up without me there…go home…be with Katy and call later" Blaine said taking breaths between words. His mother's eyes welled up with tears.

His father walked over and smiled, "Go be with him…he woke up pretty hysterical earlier yelling your name" he said hugging him. "I'm proud of you son" he said and Blaine smiled at him then hugged his mother.

They left and Blaine sat on his bed breathing out and running his hand through his hair. He picked up a water bottle and chugged the whole thing.

Then he got up and walked out, looking for ICU, he rounded a corner and nearly ran into Finn, Kurt's step brother.

"Where's Kurt?" Blaine asked and Finn looked at him like he saw a ghost. "What happened to you guys?" he asked walking forward and Blaine followed.

"Long story…don't ask" Blaine said trying to push his memories away.

They finally reached his room it had his own name on the door and everything.

They entered the room which was less cheery then Blaine's had been, the drapes where drawn and the lights where dim. The only sound was the multiple machines.

Kurt was lying in a bed looking exceptionally tiny. There was a breathing tube in his nose and a feeding tube in his mouth. His face was gauzed up; the parts showing were purple and swollen.

His bare chest was covered in tubes and needles. Two of his fingers covered in a finger cast.

His throat, shoulders and chest where covered in bite marks and bruises. Blaine almost couldn't look at him. His bones jutting out from his gaunt body

Burt looked up at him from holding Kurt's hand with a small smile. "How are you doing Blaine" he asked as Blaine pulled a chair up stroking Kurt's hair letting tears fall down his face.

"Okay" Blaine whispered picking up Kurt's other hand and kissing it. "How is he? How's Kurt" Blaine asked Burt looking over a Finn who was shuffling through the room.

"They won't tell me anything yet…it doesn't look good though" he sniffed and cleared his throat. Blaine felt his heart drop.

"He'll make it, he's strong" Blaine mumbled laying his head next to Kurt, his sweet scent now changed to the smell of the hospital.

They sat there for awhile, watching Kurt, silently crying.

Then the doctor walked in, "Sorry to see you back so soon" he shook his head. "Will he be okay?" Burt asked his voice quivering.

"Burt, I'm going to sell it to you straight your sons CD4+ cell count is below two hundred, which has caused his immune system to basically give out…" he said and sighed. "So that means it turned to AIDs?" Blaine spoke up.

He nodded, "Yes, we're trying to get his cell count up so he can recover and go home but we will start treatment soon" he looked down at his clipboard.

Burt felt like he was paralyzed. "b-but he'll make it right?" Finn finally said something as the doctor started out.

He smiled sadly and opened his mouth, "We'll try our best".

XxXxXx

When Kurt woke up his throat was dry, and pain radiated from all over his body. He didn't want to open his eyes; they felt like they weighed a million pounds.

Soft voices wavered through his ears, he wanted to answer them or squeeze there hand back but he couldn't move it hurt so badly.

"Dad?" Kurt groaned out his voice sounding hoarse. "Kurt…Kurt are you awake?" he asked touching Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt forced his eyes open, expecting to be blinded by light but he found himself in a near dark room. The only light coming from machines and the hallway

"What?" he blinked and drew in sharply. "Don't try to sit up-just calm down" Burt said soothingly. "Why does it hurt so much?" Kurt asked a tear falling down his cheek. "I know, just try to rest" he said and stood up so Kurt could see him.

Kurt tried to smile but that hurt too much so he just closed his eyes and tried to calm his racing mind. "I'll be right here" Burt whispered and kissed his forehead.

XxXxXx

"So this stuff is all really new to me" Finn said to Blaine as they sat at the café tables. "Yeah you and me both" Blaine sighed pouring sugar into his coffee. His stomach to upset for a latte

"I mean we learned about AIDs and stuff but I never thought it would happen to someone I know…" he said and Blaine stirred his coffee wishing he'd just shut up about it. "That doesn't mean you should treat him different" Blaine said fast looking up at him.

"Yeah I know how pushy he is" Finn smiled a little like he was remembering something.

"He's just really independent…" Blaine started; he laughed a short, bitter laugh. "Maybe if he didn't think he could always take care of himself this wouldn't have happened" he finished.

Finn stopped talking and drank his coffee. Because there was no use looking back on it now

XxXxXx

"Dad I just want to be normal…can I please go home and back to school" Kurt asked finally allowed to walk around. They walked around the room, Burt securely at Kurt's back holding his arm.

"I-I don't know Kurt" he said holding his breath as Kurt almost lost his footing but regaining composer. "Please…" he sat on his bed. "I just want to be normal dad" Kurt said looking down at his knees.

"Kurt you _are_ normal" he stressed and Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Nothing about my life has ever been normal, look at me!" Kurt cried out pointing to his stitched up face.

"I'm a freak…I could of stopped all of this dad, don't you see? This is all my fault" Kurt cried out and his father sat down next to him. "No Kurt none of this is your fault don't ever think that" Burt said touching his hand.

"Look I just want to go home and forget about all this" he replied rolling his eyes to hide his tears. "Kurt you can't just throw this all aside it's…it's not healthy to do that" Burt told him.

"Okay fine just let me go home" Kurt sniffed and fixed his hair. "I need my moisturizer routine back to" Kurt said and looked away.

XxXxXx

Kurt woke up a 5am with a splitting headache and sore throat. Although he'd never tell his father that or he wouldn't be allowed to go to school.

He decided he'd dress up today, at least try to be normal. He walked to the bathroom and looked up, his reflection scaring him. He looked sickly, and the stitches didn't help.

_You're so beautiful…_

Kurt sighed, he was always there. Even if he knew he was dead, He was always there.

Kurt put on a long sleeve, striped shirt and a knee length sweater. And some black skinny jeans with a pair of black converse. He did the best he could to cover up some of the smaller cuts and bruises but couldn't.

He sighed and walked down stairs with his shoulder bag.

The house almost smelled exactly like the hospital now, everything had to be sanitized and clean since Kurt's immune system was all out of wack.

"Kurt I don't think you should be going..." Burt said handing Kurt some orange juice and a plate with fruits and some other weird looking stuff. Kurt didn't really have an appetite, and his throat hurt to much to even think about eating.

"Well I am so..." he forced a smile. "I'll be fine" he said looking over at Finn who was toying with his soggy cereal. He still refused to really look at Kurt, probably because he was always afraid he'd say the wrong things. But a month in the hospital taught Kurt that a lot of people think people with AIDs are gross.

"Well better get going" Kurt said jumping up and dumping the full plate in the garbage can and running out. Kurt drove himself and Finn to school in complete silence. Kurt watched as Finn smiled slightly and waved as he jumped out after Rachel and Tina.

Kurt sat in his car a moment wondering how he would go about his day. People would be staring, if not at his stitches then his black eye. Kurt drew a shuddery breath as everything dawned on him.

He was s_ick _really, really sick. Like the dying kind. And it was scary. He had to many dreams, to many things he needed to accomplish. He felt tears fall down his face, he always hoped he'd be the one to make it out. To show all these low-life bullys that they wo_uld_ be working for him someday.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he pulled it out wiping his eyes.

** Courage**

** -Blaine**

Kurt smiled and flipped his phone shut climbing out. "Where have you been white boy?" Mercedes asked as soon as he entered the building. "Pnemonia" Kurt replied not looking at her. "You're getting to damn skinny" she fussed and he laughed slightly. "What the hell happened to your face?" she asked after a minute. "And your fingers" she pointed to the cast.

"I-I got beat up" he sighed and avoided her look. "Who did it? You better tell m-" she started but Kurt swerved away. "Bye Mercedes" he called and walked into his first period class.

Classes that day went pretty well and he convinced people nothing was wrong when his fever had flared and he had to run to the bathrooms to puke.

Other than that life went okay, well after long doctor visits and sick spells. He actually thought he could beat this thing, besides the night terrors and traumatic stress. And hanging out with Blaine was making him feel better to.

So they thought

XxXxXx

It was friday when Kurt woke up with his throat swollen and his stomach rolling. He trudged downstairs after taking his meds. "You feelin' okay kiddo you look terrible" Burt asked a concerned look on his face. "Thanks dad that really makes me feel better..." he said sarcasticly.

"You dont have to go to school if you dont want to" He told him and Kurt slammed the fridge door. "I'm FINE dad! Jesus why do people always treat me like some fucking glass figurine thats going to break if you touch it, well guess what I can take care of myself" Kurt yelled and walked out.

Burt's mouth hung open and he looked over at Carole who was equally as shocked.

XxXxXx

"Where is Kurt?" Rachel asked as they sat in Glee. Finn shrugged, "He um was all PMS-y this morning" he said and there was a few snickers. "Finn do you even know...you know what never mind stop hatin on my boy Kurt" Mercedes said and they all watched as he walked in.

He was walking with sluggish steps and his cheeks were flushed, a cherry red in contrast to his deathly pale face.

"You feeling okay Kurt?" Mr. Shuester asked and Kurts eyes closed and a growl escaped his throat. He gritted his teeth, "Im fine".

"Okay" he wasnt about to argue and let Kurt take a spot in the back.

"Okay class Sectionals are coming up, any ideas?" he asked. No hands. "C'mon guys" he groaned.

Kurt laid his head in his hand as the class chatted, Mercedes turned to Tina, "We should do a song about AIDs" she said. Kurt shot up, "What?" he asked and drew unwanted attention.

"I said lets do a song together Cede's...her nickname" Tina said looking confused. "Oh" he calmed down and cleared his throat. Rachel raised her hand, "We should do a boys Vs girls again" she suggested. Everyone cheered except Kurt.

"Are you guys_ positive_?" he asked and Kurt groaned and walked out as the bell rang. Finn chased after him, "Dude what is your problem today" he asked and Kurt stopped. "Not the time Finn" he snapped and stopped as Dave reached out and shoved him into a locker. "Hey man" Finn said pushing him as Kurt tried to catch his breath again.

"You nasty little faggot" Dave spit with a wicked grin. Kurt looked up in his eyes, his taunting eyes. Those eyes...they look so familiar.

Dave grabbed his collar and slammed him against the wall again, "Bet you liked it didn't you? Huh him fucking you all those years..." he snarled as Finn started to break Daves hold on Kurt.

"Shut up" Kurt cried angry tears falling down his face. "Why? cause you're a gross little fag that caught the little..._bug_" he sneered and Kurt looked him in the eyes. "Your a terrible person" Kurt whispered to him in digust.

"And you're a AIDs infected little queer" he yelled and Kurts mouth hung open as everybody stopped. Dave let go of him and laughed, "Thats right our schools own fag has AIDs" he yelled. Kurt stood speechless, as Dave walked off.

Kurt bowed his head and walked off, towards Karofsky. "I know why you're so angry" he tried to ignore the laughs and whispering behind him. "And whys that?" he asked weaving through to the locker room.

"Because you're-" he started and looked at Dave's flamming eyes. "Say it and I'll-"

_Rip your juggular out and feed it to you_

Kurt stared at him in horror, backing up. Dave shoved him to the ground, "Its all your fault! You nasty little faggot" he snarled and Kurt scrambled to get up and away from this monster.

"I dont want to see you back here Hummel, go die alone, I dont want you infecting anyone else" he laughed.

"Are you sure _you're_ not infected?" Kurt asked.

* * *

><p><strong>okay i know this chapter is terrible and sorry i havent been updating (family issues). You will find out the big secret soon :) NO HATE PLEASE :D <strong>


	9. Update

This isn't a new chapter (there will be one soon) but I've been  
>getting a lot of hate for this story and it makes me<br>feel like I might discontinue it.

I just want to say if you don't like it stop reading. And if you have  
>something to say about it don't PM me just keep it to yourself.<p>

Thanks to all those who do enjoy it :)  
>new chapter soon.<p> 


	10. Chapter 9

"Excuse me?" Dave hissed his eyes zeroing on Kurt. "AIDs…usually runs through blood doesn't it?" Dave gritted his teeth. Kurt frowned and walked out, half expecting Dave to run after him and slam his face into the wall.

But he kept walking; he didn't even hear footsteps behind him. As he turned the corner Finn ran over to him. "Dude are you okay? Did he hurt you?" he asked giving Kurt an once-over.

"I'm fine Finn" Kurt mumbled walking towards the door, "Are you sure?" he asked touching Kurt's shoulder, Kurt stopped.

"Am I bleeding?" Kurt asked looking at him with annoyance.

"Well…no" he mumbled and Kurt nodded, "Do I look like I'm about to drop over dead?" Kurt asked,

"N-no"

Kurt nodded, "See fine, now c'mon I will leave you" Kurt said and started back towards the car.

XxXxXx

"Hello Kurt" the man standing in front of him was a lot taller than his father. His hair slightly graying with a hint of the black that once dominated.

His face was kind full of creases, probably from the years of hearing about everybody else's problems.

He was dressed pretty fancy in a suit with a tie.

"My name is Andrew Courts, I will be your psychotherapist" he said and lead Kurt to a couch.

Kurt felt a small quiver in his stomach, he didn't want this to be like the movies, where the man would ask what your feelings are and make you hug crap.

"Kurt you're aware of your current condition right?" he asked and Kurt looked over at the bookcases. "Yes…I'm dying" he said and looked back to him. Kurt couldn't read his expression.

"And you're okay with that?" he asked, Kurt bit his lip. "What else can I do? There's no use in being upset because it won't change anything" the man lifted a eyebrow

"You're still allowed to be upset Kurt".

"Why? Why sit around and wonder what could have been" Kurt shrugged. "You're acting like you'll die tomorrow" he replied.

"Who knows" Kurt sighed. The man nodded and scribbled down on his notepad.

"Kurt…there's still a reason to live, it's not completely hopeless" he told him and Kurt laughed bitterly. "Why bother? We're all gonna end up in the ground…I mean seriously what's _to_ live for? We could live the happiest life with millions of dollars then one day poof it's all gone and you're rotting six feet under, so why even bother?" Kurt explained. He realized he was being very morbid but he couldn't help it.

"It sounds like you've already given up" he said with a sad smile. Kurt blinked, he grabbed his bag and stood, "I gave up the moment that bastard laid his hands on me"

He said and walked out.

XxXxXx

"Instead of doing a boys Vs girls I want you guys to all pick a song that says something about yourself…make it emotional" Mr. Shuester said as the bell rang.

Kurt wondered as he walked to his car, he vaguely registered running footsteps behind him but didn't stop. Two hands came down on his shoulders and he screamed, trying to twist away.

"Kurt stop! It's me" Blaine yelped and jumped back before Kurt could smash his face in.

Kurt spun around, breathing heavily. "Blaine…don't do that!" Kurt said trying to calm his beating heart.

"Sorry…forgot"he said and wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders, "So how you have been?" he asked as they walked towards Kurt's car.

Kurt nodded, "Okay".

Blaine raised an eyebrow, "Kurt you can't just be okay…I mean I stayed up for the last nights crying" Blaine shook his head.

How could he be so calm about dying?

"Why wallow in self pity" Kurt sighed, "You know what let's just stop talking about it" Kurt nodded as Blaine climbed in the passenger seat.

"Wanna go get some coffee?" Blaine suggested, Kurt smiled and nodded.

XxXxXx

"Well ello sir!" Blaine said in a fake British accent making Kurt laugh even more. He held a straw wrapper up like a fake mustache. "Stop Blaine" Kurt giggled looking around at the other people.

"Blaine? Who is this Blaine you speak of?" Blaine said repressing a laugh.

Kurt smiled and looked into Blaine's eyes; "Whoever this Blaine is is offly lucky to be hanging out with a gorgeous piece of work as yourself" he said and wiggled an eyebrow. Kurt laughed and shook his head.

"Hey" they both looked over and saw a man walking up, "Um yes?" Blaine asked crumpling up the wrapper and hiding it.

"You're the queer with the AIDs aren't you?" he said and Kurt's mouth dropped open. "Sir…" Blaine said angrily standing.

"Why don't you do us a favor and stay inside" he growled pointing to Kurt. "We don't want to be infected"

"Back off" Blaine said pushing him. "I don't like your kind, you're disgusting" he spat and walked off. Kurt sat there a moment. Blaine grabbed his arm and softly led him out.

XxXxXx

"How in _fuck _does everyone know?" Kurt yelled slamming the front door while Blaine followed. "What are you talking about?" Burt asked looking up from a recipe book, Carol at his side.

"Wait what?" Burt looked genuinely concerned as he looked at Blaine. "Hey why don't you ask the queer with AIDs over here" Kurt said fire in his eyes.

"Kurt you're not making any sense" Burt told him grabbing his arm. Kurt's angry face crumpled and was replaced by tears.

"How does everybody know?" Kurt cried as Burt pulled Kurt close.

"Kurt…it's a small town" Burt shook his head looking at Carole for something else to say. She shrugged and Burt placed a hand on Kurt's back.

"It's been a long day for you, c'mon you need some sleep" was all he could come up with.

XxXxXx

Kurt sat in the dark tears falling down his cheeks. Crying. He really hated doing that now, it seemed like every little thing would set him off.

The darkness in the room seemed to envelope him, he liked it, and it didn't judge him. It didn't tell him he needed to be more emotional. It didn't tell him anything.

He shivered as the memory of His touches floated through his head. His flesh rising in small goose bumps.

_I won't tell…_

Kurt shuddered, he should have told, and then he wouldn't be in this mess.

"Kurt?" a small voice drifted through the stillness. Blaine's figure could barely be seen, almost like he was a shadow wondering around.

Kurt smiled and didn't wipe his tears away, it's not like he could see them anyway.

The bed dipped down under his weight as he sat cross legged in front of Kurt. The moon shining in the window casting an eerie glare on his face

"You okay?" he asked touching Kurt's hand sending more shivers through the slight boy. "I'm fine" that repetitive word was fast becoming one of Blaine's most hated words.

"Kurt…no you're not please stop saying that" Blaine said his eyes glistening in the moonlight.

"Blaine I have all these feelings…if I told you it'd take all night" Kurt forced a smile.

"That's not that Kurt I know" he said and Kurt looked at him for a moment.

"Blaine you met me last month…you barely know me"

Blaine opened his mouth, and then closed it. Kurt pursed his lips, "Well the Kurt I _do _know would sing his feelings at least" Blaine shrugged and grabbed Kurt's guitar.

"Blaine what are you doing? We'll wake my father" Kurt hissed as he strummed it. "Your dad can deal" he smiled and sat down again.

Kurt sighed and shook his head, "There is one song…" he started and set the guitar down, "I've been practicing without instruments" he smiled.

Kurt breathed in and started.

_What am I gonna do tonight  
>When I'm one step closer to the other side<br>It's easy to pretend  
>Tryin' hard not to fade away<br>But the world's got me feeling out of place  
>How will all this end?<br>It's so hard to say_

_Send me all your angels tonight_  
><em>I'm barely hanging on the edge of lonely<em>  
><em>Trying to turn this all around before I<em>  
><em>Hit the ground and end up face down<em>  
><em>Send me all your angels, now<em>

_Everyday, gotta face the fact that_  
><em>I'm trying to reason with the demons on my back<em>  
><em>And I'm hoping to hold on<em>  
><em>Don't wanna make friend tonight<em>  
><em>With the faces, with the faces<em>  
><em>Not this time<em>  
><em>When will all this end?<em>  
><em>Just give me a sign<em>

_Send me all your angels tonight_  
><em>I'm barely hanging on the edge of lonely<em>  
><em>Trying to turn this all around before I<em>  
><em>Hit the ground and end up face down<em>  
><em>Send me all your angels, now<em>

_Better days are sure to come_  
><em>I don't wanna come undone<em>  
><em>So show me what I'm living for, yeah<em>

_Send me all your angels tonight_  
><em>I'm barely hanging on the edge of lonely<em>  
><em>Trying to turn this all around before I<em>  
><em>Hit the ground and end up face down<em>  
><em>Send me all your angels, now<em>

_What am I gonna do tonight_  
><em>When I'm one step closer to the other side.<em>

Kurt finished and opened his eyes, his chest felt like weights were lifted. "Kurt…that was so beautiful" Blaine said near speechless.

Kurt searched his eyes and fell into his arms. "Oh god Blaine I'm so scared" Kurt cried.

Blaine was surprised at first but then held him tightly. "I know shh its okay" he said trying to stop his tears.

"I don't want to die Blaine…I-I can't do that to my father I can't leave him".

Blaine rubbed his back soothingly through his hiccups and tears.

Kurt pulled back from the hug. "I'm going to lose out on everything…" Kurt said shaking his head. Blaine grabbed his chin and tilted his head up.

Kurt looked at him his eyes wide. Blaine leaned in and placed his lips on Kurt's. Kurt was shocked a moment and sat stiff.

But gave in, Blaine's lips where soft and loving, unlike those bastards. After a moment they pulled back, Kurt swallowed hard and smiled.

"Too much?" he asked and Kurt shook his head.

"Just right"

* * *

><p><strong>t<strong>**a big thank you to all the postitive comments and people who like the story :) you will be learning more with our friend Dave Karfosky. I like adding twists and confusing my readers. And I like having Dave in my storys he's so...mysterious.**

**so more to come :) No Hate. the song is Send Me All Your Angels by Kris Allen check it out**


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